Obsessions/fear of doing terrible things while sleeping . . .
I have been suffering from harming obsessions for the past couple of years. I read the book The Imp of the Mind, and it helped me out a lot, and the intrusive thoughts have significantly decreased, and even when I do get them I now know that they are not dangerous. However there is one obsession I can't shake.
I am terrified that I will get up in my sleep and kill my fiance or pets. It's sick and I hate myself for thinking it. I worry about doing other things in my sleep too - the dumbest, most random things like flushing my engagement ring down the toilet or calling the CEO of my company and leaving a nasty message on his voicemail. It's totally ridiculous. Or sometimes I'll envision myself getting up in my sleep and driving to a deserted location and walking out into the middle of the woods, and then I'm terrified that I'll wake up somewhere and not know where I am.
I am fine all day long. I go about my life as normal, and I rarely have intrusive thoughts during the day. But then every night while I am trying to fall asleep, these thoughts torment me and I am terrified to go to sleep. And the thing that really scares me the most is that I have read on the internet about people who have actually done this - gotten up in their sleep and killed someone. Two guys stabbed their wives to death, and then one actually went over to his wife's parent's house and killed his mother-in-law and injured his father-in-law. Two of guys actually got acquitted of murder because of the sleepwalking plea. Supposedly the people do not remember these incidents and while they're sleepwalking, their brain is not fully functioning the way it is while they are awake.
I don't know why I am so worried about this. I have walked in my sleep maybe once in my entire life when I was little, and all I did was walk out into the living room where my parents were watching TV, and they told me to go back to bed and I did. A couple of times I have talked in my sleep, but I usually at least partially remember doing it.
Can anyone relate to this? Please tell me these fears are just yet another manifestation of the obsessive part of OCD, because I'm afraid that just by thinking these things could happen will make my brain think that they should happen and make my body get up in my sleep and do these things.
Thanks for listening.