daluckyone

I'm a 23 year old female. I've suffered from forms of depression, anxiety and ocd since I was about 12. Currently, I have Seasonal Affected Disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and forms of Trichotillomania. I tend to go back and forth between hair plucking and pulling. At times I do it all the time, others, I don't do it for months.

The worst part about OCD that I have is Compulsive Skin Picking (CSP). I pick constantly at any and all blemishes on my body. Primarily my scalp. I pick at it until it bleeds and scabs over, then I pick those off too. I've been doing this since I was 16 or so. I find it hard to stop since it's become such a habit and feels soothing to me. Running my fingers through my hair and and the picking makes me feel better. It almost gives me pleasure to do it.

I've stopped for various periods in my life. Obviously when I really need to get my hair cut. I've gotten through by letting them heal and blaming what's left on *hitting my head*. I finally realized I had a problem about 2 years ago. I read an article in Cosmo about Tricho and they mentioned CSP. My heart stopped cold and I freaked out. Not long after, I began seeing a therapist and went back on antidepressents.

I hated my therapist. She never made me feel any better and almost made me feel like it wasn't happening. I stopped seeing her after she pronounced me *cured*. I stopped taking the Celexa she had prescribed and traded it for Paxil from my own doctor.

As most of you know, I'm sure, meds are a hit and miss game. Paxil isn't working for me after 6 months, with increased dosages. It tires me out and my husband doesn't like the effects. (the sexual ones) I plan on asking for Luvox next to try.

I wrote this because it's hard for me to communicate with those around me about my OCD. My family and close friends know and I broke it to my work after I was questioned about my *antsiness*. I want to know others thoughts and see if anyone has suggestions or has the same problems I do.

It feels better when you're not so alone.

Lucky