Join Date: Jul 2004
Hey everyone, My name is Tom.
I was diagnosed about 2 1/2 years ago. It all started on my last year of school. I was fearing to go outside because i was affraid that everyone was out to get me, but that slowley turned to being affraid that i was catching every disease immaginable. I ended up being stuck in my room for about 2 years for fear that if i left the house i would make people sick from what i "may have" and also, of what people might pass on to me. My mom had gone to our family doctor and he proscribed me a low dosage of prozac which made me feel even worse. I then said, NO to any kind of drug. Well, after two years of sitting in my room and gaining 130 pounds, i decided i had enough and tried to take my life. My mom called 911 and i was taken to emergency where i had to drink some nasty stuff to soak up the chemicals in my stomach.
FINALLY, after that, i got the help that i needed. A counsoler tried to admit me into the phsyc ward thinking i was phsycotic, but after an evauation by one of the doctors, and repeated attemps by me to tell them that it was OCD, they got me a phsyciatrist. He then put me on clomipromine(anafranil). I started off at a low dosage, which seemed to do absolutley nothing accept take away a bit of the depression. After about 4-6 months, i was up at the max dosage, and it still wasnt helping me. That is when i tried for the second time to take my life. I had downed a whole bottole of the clomipromine(anafranil), and once again, off to the emergancy room i went. Well, my phsyc decided to add some effoxor to the daily pill count. Well, that changed everything for me. I was slowly begining to control some of my thoughts and after about 3 months of that, i began to shower for only an hour(was showring for 3+ hours) and was finally able to hung someone for the first time in almost two years.
Since then, i have come a long way. I am now able to go out in public, shake hands, hung family, and believe it or not, i have full custody of my nephew. My OCD is far from being under control, as i still have major bathroom issues, and i have yet to be able to have an intimate relationship(i am 21, 22 in just over a month). I am working on being able to work, but at the moment, i cannot use public bathrooms for fear of catching an std from the toilet seat, and i dont think my boss will be very happy if i said, "Hey boss, ill be back in 30 min, im going to drive home to use the bathroom".
I didnt go to any kind of CBT therapist, but i did a lot of CBT myself. I spent hours at a time, going through senarios in my head, and eventually did what i feared and after repeated occurences, i began not to fear certain things anymore. Also, I found out nov of last year, that my sister was addicted to crack cocain, and at which time, i had to suck it up, and take care of him. Because of him, i have beaten the OCD so fast, because i did not want him to go into foster care. My love of him forced me to deal with my OC issues faster than i ever would have and i will be forever thankful for that.
Just recently, i have lowered my dosage by 50mg of clomipromine(anafranil) and 75mg of effexor. I now take 200mg of clomipromine(anafranil) and 35.5mg of effexor, and i still seem to be able to control my mind just as well as before the decrease.
I never thought that i would see my life so close to "normal", and i am so happy that it is getting back there. I just thought i would share my story with you guys in hopes that i would meet other people who also suffer from OCD. Take care guys.