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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 07-14-2004, 08:42 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 213
ontheway HB User
Just...

Hey everyone

I just wanted to write again, I have such a hard times with intrusive thoughts I feel like crying at this moment I'm so tired and I want to help myself by not responding with rituals but as yall know that is extrmely hard especially when I get into the type of thoughts of what if this is real my thoughts focus around religious and it hurts so much because its so hard to have a relationship with God its very complicated my life when yet it seems so simple and I hurt so much inside from all of this..I can do good for a few days then boom all the sudden it hits me again and i can't seem to get a good control on it for long periods of time I know people around get tired of dealing with the OCD part of me but I can't help that I try but how can I hide what I feel and pretend im ok when most of the time I don't feel ok ratter i am in reality.. I dont knoow how to really be able to grasp in my mind that this is OCD and its not real i just hate this so bad I start to get the feelings of I don't care anymore when I do and I don't want to feel that way its very bad for me Gosh i just want to control my own mind im so freaking aggravated i really hate these intrusive religious thoughts and not just those but other ones and I cant stand them im so mad all i know is to cry and hurt myself which I cant go down that path I think i ratter not of been born at times because then I'd feel no pain no confusion nothing i would not even exist I just yarn to be happy and found that extremely hard and I don't know when i will be able to archive it I'm tired of obsessing and complusing I just want to live a normal life as possible thanks for listening just needed to vent I suppose God bless always

 
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Old 07-14-2004, 09:37 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina
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Jennifer272 HB User
Re: Just...

I had intrusive religious thoughts at one time. With ocd you worry about the worst things happening and picture things in your mind that you would never want to picture. Ever notice how the thoughts are always about someone or something that you care about? Alot of people worry about family members, pets, and so on. I think god knows how our minds work, he is the one who made us, so knowing this god should be happy that you care so much about him that your ocd is attacking thoughts about him. and don't feel guilty about getting numb to the thoughts. It is human nature to eventually get use to a situation no matter how bad it is. How do you think people survived the halocaust? I hope this helps you. Keep in touch!

 
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