Hi everyone, these days i am really going through a hard time, its seems as if my ocd is with me constantly from the moment i wake up till the time i go to bed, i recently quit drinking and taking drugs due to the fact that when i was hungover or stoned it would make my ocd worse and i can hardly even function, my main problem is that i obsess about different things ALL DAY!!
the worst part is that i repeat names, obsessions over and over in my head all day, its like every other 30 seconds i say the same thing in my head. its so messed up and i cant get rid of it, i tell myself the only way to get rid of these thoughts is to kill myself, because really the only time i look forward to is bedtime then when i wake up its like hell as soon as i wake up my obsessions start, i cant watch tv, i cant work i cant do anything lately because of these constant intruding thoughts, sometimes the thought isnt even there its just the feeling of the thought because i have thought about it so much its like its a scar and i just get the anxiety i dont know what to think anymore i have always been a popular kid that dated girls all my life, and now i cant even talk to any of my friends i am always thinking crazy stuff, i cant even watch tv anymore either cause i sit there waiting for the scene to change instead of paying attention to the actual show (has anyone heard of this) anyway ill end with a few questions that i hope someone can answer. as for now i feel i will never be cured
P.S. i was diagnosed with ocd already, and i have been in bed for 3 days because i cant get up and face all these crazy and repeating thoughts, its like i have no contro l over these thoughts i try to tell myself to shutup or f off , but they just stick in my head its like i make myself think these things someone please help me
1. Does a person with ocd have the same thought over and over (for instance a persons name)(this is my worst attribute)
2.does someone with ocd think they are the only one with the problem and that its not ocd its just me
3. how do i stop suffering and start living?
well thats it for now i am on 40mg of Paxil and 5mg of zyprexa at the moment but i always tell myself that how would a medication remove a thought.
What's important for you think now is that this will get better and you will rid yourself of these negative feelings. I was like you for a time but it was short lived. As hard as it sounds, try to just let these thought come and try going out for a jog. You will need to brush these thoughts off and just be sure in yourself.
You see when I was lost and confused I didn't know what to do like that and I felt so low. But now, when an occassional thought pops in my mind it doesn't effect my mood/feelings. The redundancy has stopped 'almost' altogether as well.
Just remember that it is a little overwhelming when you first come to the realization that something just isn't right. Know that it will dissipate when you put your mind to it and you can be a better person than you might have been without this thing.
You are now the thinking sort, and you have an opportunity to get to know yourself more than many others...
Chris, I am really worried about you! It doesn't really sound like the meds that you are on right are working too well. Have you been in therapy lately? It helps to talk to someone when you're that down on yourself. As far as the OCD, it's not you, it's the OCD doing this!!!! I personally have never had the repetitive names but everyone's OCD is a little bit different. Mine, mostly consists of obsessive thoughts about death, dying and destruction. I also got to the point in thinking that killing myself was the only way to make it stop but those types of thoughts are also the OCD! I read somewhere that people with OCD think about suicide but the percent of OCD people that actually go through with it is very low. The way that you start living and stop suffering is with good medication and therapy. I go at least once a week to therapy and monthly to my doctor. I have been on Luvox for a while now and I went to the Dr. today and he upped it to 150mg. I was taking 100mg. before. I have had some side affects from it like insomnia, slight weight gain, nausea etc. But the nice thing about the Luvox is that it has made most of my OCD thoughts go away! That part of it is amazing. Good Luck to you and take care. Beth
I can relate before I went to the hospital, I had thoughts from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep. Sleeping is sort of an escape but even in my sleep I'd sometimes have the bad dreams about it.. I could not get rid of these thoughts I could not even close my eyes to get peace, to try and clear my head because the thoughts just kept coming. I ending up doing stupid stuff I got sent to the hospital and was put on different medicine went to therapy for 7 months almost everyday. It was hard but I wanted so much to be rid of the bad thoughts there were points where i just didnt even want to be here, because I was scared out of my mind. OCD took away so much of my life and till this day continues to do so not as much though. I can now close my eyes and get some peace, the thoughts are not coming as much but they are here pretty good part of the day and still cause me distress. Its very hard for me and i know its hard for you but something very, very important to remember is it is only OCD and not you I still wake up til this day and have some of the obsessive thoughts on my mind but its calm down little bit which im so greatful it has. I long to be better but i have to put my work into it also to beat this because I don't think medicine will take it way completly but it will help you once u find the right medicine hang in there even when u feel you dont want too please hang in there because after the storm there is a rainbow and there will be a rainbow in the sky just for you I dont know when u will see it but keep looking for it dont give up try and think I would not say these names over and over in my head and the fact that im in distress over it tells me its not me thinking these names its my mind OCD likes to drive us crazy but your not crazy and your just suffering and it can get better.. therapy is really good to go to someone and talk about how you feel and get it out and get a rational opinion and advise back someone outside of the OCD world that knows about it I know ur strong man we are all strong to have to put up witht his but fight back know this is only OCD and not you repeating those names i understand also about the thoughts when u dont think of them and then u remember the thought and it comes back thats a hard one i struggle with that sometimes i know OCD is mentallly tiring because even as i sound positive i hurt so bad from OCD and not going thru a great great tome myself i found therapy is good though and very helpful read up about OCD and see that its called obsessive ( which thats why the names keep coming into your head ) then compulsive its also know has the doubting diease where u think what if its me and not OCD thats OCD making u doubt that i think alot of us with OCD if we could just not have the doubting part we would be able to get our minds better take care of you please hang in there and know that u can ALWAYS come here and talk God bless u always
i have an obsession similar to yours, names.
your case sounds more severe, as for me i can still do some of the things i want to do, except having to wash constantly and repeating tasks. for me, bad names are constantly in my mind, and when i think of it when i am doing something, i have to repeat doing that again, such as dressing, or even sitting down, its so troublesome.. numbers is another problem too, but to me thoughts are also as bad. most of the times i have to think of good name after a bad name thought, but its difficult, very difficult. theres always bad thoughts, its difficult for me for me to buy things too, if i have a bad thought when i am buying, that thing has to be thrown away and i have to wash my hands, i am afraid of saying out the bad names so i always say out good names, and i dont even want to do that, most of the time if i think i might have said a bad name, i have to wash my mouth, washing is very bad too because i cant wash with a bad thought, so when i wash i take up a lot of time.
Your OCD is so similar, in so many ways, to what I experienced those many years it ruled my life. EVERY thought had the potential to become a day long anxiety-charged obsession. And I know all about that "scar" feeling--how the discomfort just throbbed away in the background--needing so desperately to be "dealt" with! :-(
Please read the long post I wrote the other day on the Prozac and OCD thread (Twinlynn). You will read how Prozac saved my life....and still does. Over a period of about 6 to 9 months, it helped stop about 90 percent of those thoughts. Prozac was specifically prescribed for OCD sufferers, when I began taking it about 12 years ago..and there are even newer drugs today, which I am unfamiliar with--because Prozac worked so well for me.
You WILL start to get better, as OCD seems to come and go....but please discuss this drug with your doctor and see what he/she says, because I honestly did not know how to go on with my life before I was prescribed this Prozac. I do not exaggerate when I say it "saved my life." And I know how much you must be suffering. No one who has not experienced those nightmarish thoughts can possibly understand just how destructive it can be...and the depression that results from the endlessness--and uselessness--of it all. But, there is a chance that a drug like Prozac might make such a difference to your life. I've met many people (thru a support group), who were so helped by Prozac.
The results for me were so dramatic....and I hope so much that a drug such as this may help you begin to recover soon. I wish the very best for you.....I know how the world of an OCD sufferer becomes nothing other than getting those thoughts dealt with. No matter how crazy the thoughts....they continue to be the only thing you can concentrate on. Please make inquiries about these special OCD drugs, if you haven't already. I thought I would never get better...it didn't seem possible--but I did. And I hope you do, too.
with great empathy from a former fellow sufferer, Lynn :-)
My friend, just hang in there. It will get better, my ocd has been peeking for the last while, but is starting to wain. See your doctor, you don't have to go through this alone ! We are also here for you.