| | Fear of hiv getting way way out of control - please help !
I have suffered from OCD now for 10+ years and have been on Prozac ever since, this does help, but when I have a real downer ( last 3 months, been mugged, lost job had 1 night stand (protetced) )
I've had a real fear of catching hiv since I was 20 when I had my first sexual encounter......I'm now checking everything at present, ( takes me five attemps to make sure my pc is off, at least half an hour to check everything is off before leaving the house, then have to drive past to make sure all is ok )
I am now obssessed about hiv again because of this one night stand, I've spoken to various helplines, trusting friends and they all say the same, if you were protected your ok, thats why it's call 'protected sex' !!!
I know we all have different issues to deal with just needed to get this off my chest.......I even checked the condom afterwards, ......looked fine but now having all kinds of crazy thoughts, did it come off (no) did it split (no).....I was there, but these thoughts keep coming back
The main worry is that after we had sex her friend came in with a lad and her attitude changed, they started smoking cocaine and then wanted money off me ??
Obviously for my own personal safety I paid up and left asap, this was a stitch up I reckon as the other girl mentioned she had just finished working at a massage parlour and the girl I was with was due there the next night ??.......but as everyone I've spoke to has said don't worry, the sexual health helpline said to me you've more chance of meeting an iceberg in the middle of the Sahara !
Any advice would be most appreciated...I've gone up from 20mg to 40mg of Prozac a day since this incident..... doctors orders of course......
I know I have nothing to worry about but start new job soon, this should help take my mind of these 'irrational' thoughts........, I'm going to see a Hypnotherapist tomorrow too...............your advice on the above would be most appreciated, thanks