Fear of hiv getting way way out of control - please help !
Hi there,
I have suffered from OCD now for 10+ years and have been on Prozac ever since, this does help, but when I have a real downer ( last 3 months, been mugged, lost job had 1 night stand (protetced) )
I've had a real fear of catching hiv since I was 20 when I had my first sexual encounter......I'm now checking everything at present, ( takes me five attemps to make sure my pc is off, at least half an hour to check everything is off before leaving the house, then have to drive past to make sure all is ok )
I am now obssessed about hiv again because of this one night stand, I've spoken to various helplines, trusting friends and they all say the same, if you were protected your ok, thats why it's call 'protected sex' !!!
I know we all have different issues to deal with just needed to get this off my chest.......I even checked the condom afterwards, ......looked fine but now having all kinds of crazy thoughts, did it come off (no) did it split (no).....I was there, but these thoughts keep coming back
The main worry is that after we had sex her friend came in with a lad and her attitude changed, they started smoking cocaine and then wanted money off me ??
Obviously for my own personal safety I paid up and left asap, this was a stitch up I reckon as the other girl mentioned she had just finished working at a massage parlour and the girl I was with was due there the next night ??.......but as everyone I've spoke to has said don't worry, the sexual health helpline said to me you've more chance of meeting an iceberg in the middle of the Sahara !
Any advice would be most appreciated...I've gone up from 20mg to 40mg of Prozac a day since this incident..... doctors orders of course......
I know I have nothing to worry about but start new job soon, this should help take my mind of these 'irrational' thoughts........, I'm going to see a Hypnotherapist tomorrow too...............your advice on the above would be most appreciated, thanks
Re: Fear of hiv getting way way out of control - please help !
Anybody used a Hypnotherapist for OCD, My meeting was cancelled last minute, trying to find another one for today, can anyone help regarding my first posting, I'm in total panic today.....please help !!
Re: Fear of hiv getting way way out of control - please help !
I think it was you that said on another post (I'm fairly new to these boards) that you were too scared to go get tested?
Think of it like this: when you aren't having OCD problems, would you be so nervous about having hiv? No, so you know it is just the OCD. I would try telling yourself it was just the OCD talking, and one way to quiet it would be to go get tested. Sure, you'll be nervous for the few days before you get your results back, but then maybe afterwards it won't bother you so much???
Re: Fear of hiv getting way way out of control - please help !
If it wasn't for the OCD I wouldn't give it a second thought as I have not put myself at risk, it's just something that comes and goes, I know it's OCD and I will fight it, I don't need to get tested, all the experts have said so......I'll be back soon, thanks for your kind words..
I'm also :-
constantly checking light switches are off
have to unplug everything in the house before I leave
have to drive past house 2-3 times before leaving for work
always apologising to people when I've not done/said anything
always frightened of having a car crash
the list goes on....... but obviously ther main one is hiv and there is no way I have it.....
my ex made me have a test 2 years ago, since then I have had 2 one night with stands with females using condoms, which is safe sex.......
Although a lot of things have happened to me in the space of 4 weeks,
the above.
losing job
being mugged and hospitalised
racially abused by doctors ( in cyprus)
Fear of hiv getting way way out of control - please help ! 
