I guess Im writing this to vent really. I was doing so well on my meds I take alot of them and then all of a sudden they seemed to stop working and now i can't stop thinking I replay all conversations I have in my head to the point I can't take it I haven't talked to anyone since Sunday because I simply can't handle replaying my actions and the conversation and doing it so much till i change the events and i believe i did something wrong. or said something wrong. I'll stay up for days worried about it and just replaying it in my head.Does anyone know of anyway I can divert my mind to something different it gets pretty lonely. I do have a social phobia and other stuff too but its so bad I wont even go on these boards for help.Because of a fear I'll say something wrong and I'll reread my post 3 million times and it just gets so tiring. Thank You
Hey, my OCD is pretty mild compared to some people, but I have a pretty similar problem. I feel alkward a lot of the time talking even to my real good friends, thinking to myself 'what if I say something wrong?' and sometimes I would have to think for a couple of seconds for a good answer to say, it gets really annoying. If you just sit a home and feel really lonely, saying these conversations over and over in your head, the best thing to do is to do something active or constructive, like a hobbie, play a game, or even watch tv. All you have to do is fight it, and it does work, for example, even if you really want to stay home because of your OCD and the last thing you would do is go somewhere or do something, just get out there and face it head on, and believe me, you'll see how silly worrying about what you say really is because you won't have wasted hours to think about it.
I've been through such similar nightmarish periods. And, although, OCD does seem to come and go to a certain degree on its own, if you call up my comments on the thread "Prozac and OCD" (under Twinlynn), you will see how that particular drug changed my life and helped stop 90 percent of the "thoughts" dead in their tracks.. After reading your message, I just wanted you to hear of at least one person, where a drug did its job...and is still working about 12 years later!
No other therapy helped me much, because the discomfort level and severe anxiety I experienced when I did NOT think those thoughts felt unbearable. And, of course, once you begin a thought....it just escalates into a creature with its own legs!! The fact that the Prozac helped so rapidly convinced me once and for all that my brain's "wiring" had needed an oil and lube job! LOL! :-) This drug seemed to "rewire" it in some way, so that the thoughts became less and less important. Sure, they'd pop into my head...but I seemed to suddenly have simple ways of putting them into the background. Hard to explain.
My thoughts, no matter what direction they took...had all been based on some sort of guilt. Years of therapy to understand the guilt were totally unsuccessful. I UNDERSTOOD it--but the thoughts just kept on coming. But after about a month of the Prozac...it was as if something in me just changed...for the better. (Oh the joys of chemistry!! :-)
So---you might want to discuss a drug like this--one specifically designed for OCD--with your doctor. Of course, you may well have done so--or even tried it, already. But I did feel I wanted to let you hear a success story. I wish you happier times and a peaceful mind. Lynn :-)
Hi and thanks for your replies. I do try to get out at least once a week and I am on medications a whole lot of them but they dont seem to be working for me as well anymore I was on prozac b4 and I didnt take to it all I did was sleep. Right now I am on effexor, wellbutron, remeron, topomax and risperidal as I said I have alot of issues they are pretty severe. Im really just looking for people to talk to. If that doesnt sound sad. lol
Yes unfortunately it is a form of OCD but there are normally other things that go along with it like counting and certain behaviors. But definitely bring it up. It does feel like your going mad doesnt it. Well I hope that you have some luck getting it under control I think Ive seen this board mention other ways to deal with ocd if u dont want to go on meds but I havent a clue Im sorry maybe someone will let u know.
I absolutely relate to this form of OCD. When my OCD was at it's worst (feb 2003) I literally held my hand over my mouth while on the phone or talking with someone face to face. I know it looked absolutely bizarre but it was the only way I felt I could prevent myself from saying something wrong. I never leave messages on answering machines because I obsess about a billion times that I've said something inappropriate. I go over conversations over and over until I think I've remembered every detail. I talk to my mom a lot and when my OCD was really bad I made her promise that if I said something inappropriate, that she tell me right away no matter what. If I had doubts about a conversation we had, I would call her back and ask and she would reassure me. I know that by doing that, I was basically asking for her to contribute to my OCD fears but it was the only way I could get through the terrible period in my life until the meds started to work. I'm on 50 mgs of Zoloft and they've helped me a whole lot. The only problem is, that my fear of conversations prevented me from keeping in contact with friends and family and I've moved from my original state so I feel a bit isolated. I only talk to my mom about my OCD and I read this board. I hope you get well soon.
My mother is the closest person to me as well. Maybe its because Im not AS worried shes going to judge me as someone else other then that I only have one friend and thats because shes aggressive and knows I have this. I lost all my friends because I do the same thing no answering machines , don't call people and even though Im attractive havent had a boyfriend in over a year and a half because all these guys give me their number and i say to myself well what are they gonna think of me when i call them . Its reassuring to know that there are people out there that do understand and have taken the time to reply to me. Thank you so much.