marshman

i'm going off my medicine for three weeks until school starts again, I want off my medicine so I can join the military after school ends, and my phy said it was fine as long as i'm comfortable, I'm doing better, but once school starts I'll have more anxiety so I have to start again. I was just wanting to ask some questions for reasurrance, I still obsess a little, like I'm afraid to tell my doctor some stuff I'm afraid she'll put me in the house or something. But like I Obsess about girls sometimes, I'll see a girl and obsess about her, wanting to be her boyfriend, wanting to know about her etc. Is this obsessing still or am I just a freak? Another thing is the whole gay OCD we all have it, but it's like sometimes I can't imagine being with a girl all my life, like I think being around guys is okay but then I think about if I kissed one it would just be nasty, thats how I try to cope with that, it doesn't help much but it helps. The way I see it is, if I am some how gay I will never be with a guy. I hope, and that last part of just a slight bit of doubt can make me obsess more. I don't know if this is making sense or not, but I obsess but it doesn't bug me as much anymore. but i'm sorry ladies this might sound shallow, but i obsess about the hair on a girls upper lip, if I kiss a girl will I feel it, you know everyone says you can't but I'm afraid, thats another obsession I have. I need some help from you guys to clear up these last few problems. thanks you all.