phoebe20

Hello

I've been having this rather strange problem since I was about 9 years old, so for about 11 years in total as I am now 20. I have posted a couple of queries like this on other sections of this board to try and put a possible diagnosis on what I have. This post is a lot more indepth however as I am now totally facing up to the extent of what's going on with me.

I have had a tendancy throughout the last 11 years to become extremely obsessed with various bands / famous people. I have spent hours on the internet collecting info on them, hours daydreaming and writing fictional stories about them and most disturbingly, hours talking to different objects in my house, pretending that the famous person is somehow in that object

I think the problem began because I had very few friends as a child. I have always been extremely imaginative, but at the same time, extremely anxious. I have always suffered from separation anxiety and had panic attacks and depression since the age of 16. I didn't realise for a long time that this cycle of behaviour was wrong because I was so engrossed in it, but now I know that it's totally abnormal and I want to stop.

I have thought that I might have schizophrenia, but I don't have hallucinations and I've never heard voices or anything. I can also remember a long period around the age of 10 where I didn't do this, which doesn't fit with schizophrenia.

I worry myself stupid all of the time that I might have schizophrenia. I'm getting so depressed and scared because I don't want to tell a doctor. I don't want to be a hassle to my parents right now because my grandad is seriously ill. I just feel like the world is caving in on me

Anyway, could this be OCD? Please help me