I've been having this rather strange problem since I was about 9 years old, so for about 11 years in total as I am now 20. I have posted a couple of queries like this on other sections of this board to try and put a possible diagnosis on what I have. This post is a lot more indepth however as I am now totally facing up to the extent of what's going on with me.
I have had a tendancy throughout the last 11 years to become extremely obsessed with various bands / famous people. I have spent hours on the internet collecting info on them, hours daydreaming and writing fictional stories about them and most disturbingly, hours talking to different objects in my house, pretending that the famous person is somehow in that object
I think the problem began because I had very few friends as a child. I have always been extremely imaginative, but at the same time, extremely anxious. I have always suffered from separation anxiety and had panic attacks and depression since the age of 16. I didn't realise for a long time that this cycle of behaviour was wrong because I was so engrossed in it, but now I know that it's totally abnormal and I want to stop.
I have thought that I might have schizophrenia, but I don't have hallucinations and I've never heard voices or anything. I can also remember a long period around the age of 10 where I didn't do this, which doesn't fit with schizophrenia.
I worry myself stupid all of the time that I might have schizophrenia. I'm getting so depressed and scared because I don't want to tell a doctor. I don't want to be a hassle to my parents right now because my grandad is seriously ill. I just feel like the world is caving in on me
That's exactly what it's like. I sometimes feel like I completely zone out on myself. I'll be carrying out the behaviour, even though I keep thinking 'I really shouldn't be doing this' or 'I should really stop this'. It drives me nuts!
i know the feeling... the best advice i can give is the only advice i ever give... my obsessions are directly related to my stress level... i still HAVE them, but its almost as if they dont bother me... but when im stressed out, look the **** out. lol.
also, dont be so hard on yourself... ive looked up people online, and ya know, if theres a cute chick at work i may go out of my way so i can look at her... of course theres a fine line between normal and abnormal, but just go with the flow, and try not to stress... you're not a murderer or anything...
I finally told my mom about this last night and she's going to come with me when I next go to the doctor's to see what help there might be for me. I think I need some therapy to deal with this.
I just wanted to add something to what I posted before. I don't use this behaviour because I feel that something bad will happen if I don't do it. I mean I can stop doing it sometimes then I will feel like I have to start it again. I don't think it really alters due to how stressed I am either. Then again, I'm always stressed, lol
Anyway, hopefully I'll find some relief from this soon
Hi Pheobe20. I have had the same problem since I was much younger too (I am now 21) - I am obsessed with a celebrity to the point that I have severe depression and it has ruined my life. I have been diagnosed with OCD and have been trying out different medications over the past year (I am currently on Lustral). Your personality sounds similar to mine - very imaginative and anxious and always, always daydreaming. I feel that I think too much and my mind won't be "quiet". I find the problem extremely embarrassion as obsessions with celebrities are linked with young teens, not someone my age, but I have learnt through this board that there are other people who suffer from the same obsessions. I only hope that soon a helpful form of treatment is discovered.
Thanks for sharing on this site - it is good to know we're not alone.
you really seem to be a bit like me. I also live in a dreamworld very often. It has been really bad when I was age 13-18 I think. Everyone called me a dreamer, as I was always living in a fantasy world together with a celebrity. I was absolutely obsessed with a band that time...well, that lasted until I was about 17 I guess. I am now 20 by the way, just like you. I collected everything about that band, made my own website, taped every single second, had hundreds and hundreds of photos on my computer and surfed fan-sites for hours every day. While I lived in that world, I didn't have too many real friends. I was bullied by some people in my class, and I felt kinda lonely.
I don't know how it all ended for me, I just simply started losing interest, and the band broke up eventually. I still love music now, but I'm not obsessed with bands anymore.
How many bands are you obsessed with / have you been obsessed with over the past few years? I don't know much about OCD, but I think there's a difference between being obsessed with just one band, or being obsessed with bands in general. Both is not really normal for any age above 15 I would say (or at least when I compare my behaviour back then with the behaviour of everyone else in my age then). I am very happy that I have stopped being obsessed and I hope that you will find a way too.
i dont think you are weird at all. OCD and axiety disorders are soo common. we all have strange thoughts, just most of us choose not to talk about them
dont feel alone, and dont give up hope.
talking to people, talking to family, and talking to professionals is always a great start.
thanks to everyone who has posted a response to this thread
bluemoon - i've probably been obsessed with about 5 or 6 bands over the last 10 years. usually i have one main band who i obsess over, but there have been times when i've been obsessed with a couple at once and i go through phases of liking one then the other. i'm kind of scared to listen to music now just incase i fall into the cycle of obsessing again, which is a shame because music is a huge passion of mine. i feel like i'm stuck in limbo now cos i've been to see a doctor, but it will be ages before i get an appointment at the mental health department.
I'm having a hard time stopping the behaviour i used to use alongside my obsession too. i keep feeling the need to talk to the objects like i used too. i think i feel kind of sad that it wasn't all real in a way. fantasy is better than reality when reality involves your grandad having cancer
why do you think your constantly yearning to escape from this reality?
maybe thats the question you need to be asking yourself...
people develop many different coping strategies for dealing with things happening in their life..
i think it's probably because i was so shy as a child. i hated school and spending time with kids my own age. i never knew what to say to them and i always felt so awkward. i always prefered my mum's company to everyone else's. i was always a clingy and anxious child, to the point where, if i lost sight of my mum when we were out shopping, i would scream the place down with panic.
i think i kind of created friends for myself cos i found other people difficult to be around. i think i wanted to create something that couldn't be taken away from me as well. my uncle died when i was three and my other uncle died when i was eleven so i think i got scared that my other relatives would die or something.
i think i just created a safety net for myself really. it's hard to get back to the absolute root of it all sometimes though. i don't know what exactly triggered my behaviour to start. i wish i did though
there you go. you know why your like this.
i was the same, attacthed to my mother who didnt work my whole life, so she was always there....always felt like an outcast..etc. the as i grew up i became extremely anxious and depressed... these two things run in my family, but it also seems as if it is seperation anxiety. im 21 and still live with my parents...up until i was 18 my mom still came with me everywhere and made all of my phone calls etc
anyways getting back to the point.. it seems clear why you are like this, and if you want to do soemthing about it...you must talk about it...preferably with a specialist
good luck. it can be a tough road. have faith in yourself
i always get kind of confused when i read through stuff on various mental illnesses. i don't fit the schizophrenia category and i don't fit the OCD category... i've never read anything that sounds like what i do
hopefully, when i get refered to the mental health unit by my doctor (which will be in 2010 the way we're going lol) i will find some kind of answer...