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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 08-03-2004, 08:08 PM   #1
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ontheway HB User
very tired

I have this OCD problem, in the past I dated a very jeloues guy that if i talked with another guy he would get upset he put into my head that flirting is wrong and then i have the confessing part of OCD i dated him for 4 to 5 years and all that time that was put into my head now im free of him ( thank God ) and I have a wonderful boyfriend but these thoughts of other guys pop into my head i see thioer names on me etc and I go and confess to him and he tells me its ok its OCD but my problem is it feels like its me thinking of these guys in that way.

my mind will obsess on one guy inside my head his name is in my head when i go to do anything personal such has use bathroom, It's very frustrating to me, because I love my boyfriend so much and would never hurt him like that but my mind makes me feel like I woulld cheat and its hurting me to deal with this i feel I have to confess to him all the time and i know he get tired of hearing it but he still listens and then i just feel like im going to mess up although I know in my heart i will never cheat on him but my is making me feel like I would when i wouldnt.

This is called the doubting diease but its driving me crazy to have to deal with the, religious thoughts, the cheating thoughts, any OCD thought period im sick of it... I'm told i need to write down in a note book my rational thinking to the irratioanl thinking and I dont even do that.. lately I've been feeling like I'm helpless and its a very very bad feeling.. I'm being a burden to others is how I feel i think about ending it all but know I can't do that because of God, my boyfriend, and my mom, but I just feel stuck in this place that is hell on earth and its making me very angry to the point i harm myself.

I need to see a therapist more often but I can not, I need an update on medicine i guess, I need God, but I'm so confused in this mind of mine at times, that OCD is putting a strain on my relationship with God because of the religous thoughts I can't do this all over again and it hurts so bad this is pain the worst pain and no one can seem to take it away completely and its killing me inside little by little i live alittle inside i die a little inside and I dont want to suffer anymore thanks for listening God bless always

 
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Old 08-03-2004, 11:30 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2004
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marshman HB User
Re: very tired

I can't really help you in that department, but I can tell you this, you said you love your boyfriend and you don't want these feelings, just think of it this way, if you didn't love him you wouldn't say that. You love him you said it yourself, just think of that anytime you doubt it. It's okay to think about other people, ask anyone, alot of people love a certain someone, but they can still find other people attractive, it's natural, just because you like your boyfriend, doesn't mean your brain is going to stop thinking hot people are hot. I have the same problem with the god issue, my ocd makes me question his realty constantly but the way I see it is that he knows whats going on with me and understands. I'll leave you with a quote I saw on a church bulletin board I saw driving home from school, God doesn't promise a smooth voyage, he promises a safe arrival.

 
Old 08-04-2004, 01:11 PM   #3
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 213
ontheway HB User
Re: very tired

Quote:
Originally Posted by marshman
I can't really help you in that department, but I can tell you this, you said you love your boyfriend and you don't want these feelings, just think of it this way, if you didn't love him you wouldn't say that. You love him you said it yourself, just think of that anytime you doubt it. It's okay to think about other people, ask anyone, alot of people love a certain someone, but they can still find other people attractive, it's natural, just because you like your boyfriend, doesn't mean your brain is going to stop thinking hot people are hot. I have the same problem with the god issue, my ocd makes me question his realty constantly but the way I see it is that he knows whats going on with me and understands. I'll leave you with a quote I saw on a church bulletin board I saw driving home from school, God doesn't promise a smooth voyage, he promises a safe arrival.

Thank you so much for replying to me, I would just love to let these thoughts go and say its OCD but sometimes it feels like me and I'm not sure if its me or OCD and I get confused but I know for a fact I would never cheat on my boyfriend and that I love him with all of me, but these thoughts are troubling just trying to get in my way of happiness, I want to feel in peace with Jesus as well because this is OCD but I feel like I do wrong when i respond to the intrusive thought because I feel like I respond to it the wrong way and not sure if its the OCd or me responding the wrong way, I just hate going thru this. I hope you will find peace as well, I think of it like this.. when you start to doubt God, just remember this is called the doubting diease and God is not going to punnish you because ur suffering try and look at it like this.. man make lots of things on earth, but can man make the sky,the clouds,the planets etc someone had to make that and thats God..when you go outside look up at the sky and u can see God there its his creation, maybe u can ask Jesus please help me have firm belief in you and don't let OCD hurt me anymore God.. God says to have faith , faith is very important.. faith means you don't see God physically but have faith that he is there and near you..feelings will betray us we need to go by faith and OCD sure does not make any of this easy its so hard and frustrating but remember God knows uur heart if you didnt think he was real u would not be worried about if he is mad at you he loves u Ggod is of love not of hate and he love u regardless what goes on in your mind he knows ur heart..i will say a prayer for you because I knoow its so hard to feel ok about this when OCD is messing with our minds take care of u and know u are loved by God, God bless u always, thanks again for responding to me

 
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