sonalised

hey, how is everyone? I'm here with questions again...

what happend to me today... we were at the summer house and everythign was fine... but in the evening, I felt a little down... then went to bed... woke up, felt ok... then later... I began to feel crappy... and here is a list of what I was feeling:

-alone
-scared
-worried
-brain full of thoughts (why? what is it? what is wrong with me? am I crazy? is my world 'normal' or am I in my own little world (crazy)?

On the way back home to the city (we were at our summer house), my brain was getting heavier and heavier with thoughts... at home, it all got worse:

- very worried
- is my Mum real? am I alone? I feel alone!
- I am going nuts. I feel I am loosing it...
- brain felt like it was fighting with itself. big pressure. phisical and psychological.
- I was walking from one place to another like a mad person
- I felt like I wasn't there... I felt numb AND crazy AND worried at teh same time...
- the outside world was numb to me in my head
- I couldn't find a lplace for myself
- I was walking from one room to another but I didn't want to... I was just doign it...
- I didnt' want to eat not sleep...
- my brain felt as if they were being squashed...
- I felt like i was going to go crazy and be alone and I was scared of the feelign as I was feeling alone and wierd...

it all felt like some psychotic episode... a really bad one too... this is making me beleave I really am going mental... or have some major mental problems and not just anxiety...

- I stood up to walk but I felt I was going to go crazy... yes... crazy again...

I don't like feeliong this way... I don't want to end up feeling alone and scared of people and even my own family... what is it with me?

WAS this an anxiety attack or was this a psychotic epsidoe? I was fully aware of everything that was happyning to me but yet I was numb and detached from the world.

I wasnted to come to use the internet earlier but I was too scared to leave the hosue...


so now, when it ended... when it ended I felt better and now I feel whole lot better... just still worried as to what it was, waht was happening to me and what will happen in the future... but on the whole, I feel good.

So when it ended, brain felt 'cool' (cold-ish)... relaxed (as it was under a lot of pressure)... and free... I feltvery tired and sleepy and also hungry, which I was at that bad time... it felt like my brain had a big mental war with itself... I don't like these 'episodes'

Anyoen any intput on this?

Thank you.

I wouldn't be so worried about this if I didn't have these thoughts and feeligns like: my Mum is not real (but I know she is), is she my Mum? Are those people real or are they playing tricks with my mind??? I feel a lone and scared and lost and like I don't belong in this world. - this scares me the most as I do not want to loose touch with reality and think that my Mum is fake and be alone and just isolate myself from the world and fel paranoid ALL THE TIME... I DO NOT WANT THIS. But will this happen?? What do you people think? What do you think it was?

Thanks.