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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

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Old 08-27-2004, 07:41 AM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2
mn-irish HB User
A little advice please

I’m 25 year old professional who’s about to be married in two months. I’m also probably one of the most patient people you may ever meet (according to my dad). For years people have told me that I have compulsive tendencies but they’ve never caused anyone any grief. Here are a couple examples.
Organization – everything has a place or needs a place. Clutter makes me physically uncomfortable and eventually agitated.
My routines – there are certain things that I do in a specific order everyday at a specific time. When these things are disrupted I can get a little agitated.

My fiancé is the source of my question. Recently some of her own habits have seemed to be getting stronger. She’s always been a clean person but lately she’s been obsessing about the cleanliness of our house. She’ll vacuum at least once every day (that I know of), she’ll clean all the floors daily, she washes clothes that aren’t dirty, she’ll wipe down the counters and kitchen table before we go for a walk and upon returning she’ll wipe them down again. When I ask her why she’s cleaning she’ll typically get agitated with me and ask me how come I can’t realize how filthy everything is. Up till now I’ve been attributing everything to the added stress she’s having with planning the wedding but the other night her step-father told me some stories about her mother that sounded all too familiar. On top of all of this, my fiancé is a terribly impatient person with a very short temper. It takes very little to set her off lately and I feel like I’m running myself ragged simply trying to keep our house and myself in a condition that will please her (and thereby stress her less, not cause her to go off, and save me some stress as a result). However, I’m starting to feel that my efforts are in vain.

Her sister-in-law thinks she has OCD. What do you guys think?

Please advise. I’m exhausted.

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Old 08-27-2004, 11:25 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 256
bm28 HB User
Re: A little advice please

I used to be the same way with my boyfriend (of five years and we've lived together for most of it) Before I was diagnosed with OCD I also had a very short temper with him and would clean and straighten all the time. I would also get very irritated if he didn't put his things away etc. Since I've been on my meds. he claims I am a completely different person.

Now, my suggestion to you....when I first discovered I had OCD, it was many things that added up! I went on-line to yahoo health and started reading about depression etc. because I was so depressed for such a long time. Then on the depression page, I came across OCD and when I read about it I was in shock because that was me! If you are able to get her to maybe read about and see how/if she relates, then maybe she should take the first step by seeing a therapist.

On the other hand, I am a actually a manager for a maid service and I FIRST HAND know how some people are just "clean freaks!" If she is one of them, then be grateful that she'll keep your house clean . Good Luck and Congrats on your wedding!!!!!!

Old 08-27-2004, 11:57 AM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2
mn-irish HB User
Re: A little advice please

Thanks for your reply. It's nice to know that there are people out there who understand this situation.

Just the other day she mentioned going to a doctor because she's been feeling "a little down" lately. My response was to go for it...especially if she feels that it will help her feel better. I'm not always a big fan of resorting to medication to fix things...I feel that people tend to opt for meds right away in order to get things "fixed" asap, but I also know that sometimes it may be the only reasonable option left to a person.

I love her very much and really want to help her...I just don't really know how.

Old 08-27-2004, 12:16 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 256
bm28 HB User
Re: A little advice please

My boyfriend feels the same way; like he doesn't know what to do for me sometimes. Maybe she's just depressed and needs to clean to keep her mind off it. OCD is really a tremendous thing that entails many different aspects. If she goes to see a therapist or a Dr. then they will be able to properly diagnose her. I also feel the same way you do about medication! In fact, about five years ago I was really depressed and went to see someone about it and they tried to tell me I had OCD then and they tried to give me meds. and I didn't belive them and I didn't take the meds! Now, I know that they were right and that I DO need meds. and I realize now that I just didn't understand the disease back then. (I thought OCD was like Jack Nicolson in As Good As It Gets) I didn't realize all that it entails. Good Luck and I hope she gets the help that she needs. Sometimes they will put people on meds. just to get through the tough times and then they'll take them off. Someone like me who has OCD will probably have to take them for the rest of my life.

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