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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 09-01-2004, 12:03 AM   #1
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Infowanter HB User
Do I have OCD, Depression... Both or what pls help!

Hey people. First off a bit of history. I have cystic fibrosis (very bad lung disease often fatal), and diabetes.

I am 27 yrs old and still live with my parents do to my health.
In the past three our four years I have gotten to where most of my life is spent in front of a TV or on a computer. I go out about three times a week, that is OUTSIDE my house ... this is to see my brother or to run errands or go to a college class i have.

Over the years I have developed some things that are scaring the crap outta me.
Things like some Obssessive Compulisive stuff for example,
When I see anything on the tv that is bad to my religious beliefs, i HAVE to ask god to forgive who it was... even tho they are on tv...
I have to pray at night and make sure I Pray about EVERTHING like even things i know cant happen, like every disease being cured... if i dont im get the idea that someoen i know might get one....
This behavior comes and goes and it seems I can make it go away.

Heres another thing...... I CANT STOP DAYDREAMING or making situations in my head..everything causes it.... something said on tv.... something I hear on the radio.... a label i read .. a single thought that goes in my head..
Ill end up talking to myself or just talking in my head not really to myself but just to nothing as if i was having a conversations with someone... kinda like this.. heres an example..

Ill think about a dr or going to talk to one..
I start saying things like this in my head.
I have these symtoms.... blah blah.. kinda like im talking TO the doctor...
but I know hes not there.... and I dont see or hear him like im flippin or anything.. but my head is kinda fuzzy and I cant concentrate on the present.

Its gotten so bad now that I cannot control it... everything casues me to talk and talk and talk in my head... I cannot even watch tv withought doing it. Sometimes its a true daydeam but often its me in sort of a daze where the present is like where im not focusing on it.. but what im talking about...

WHAT THE HELL is wrong with me?????????????
I also have gotten to where I cant feel emotions anymore at all.
everything is just another thought or sentence in my head.
I cant focus on simple things like enjoing the weather..... my mind feels fuzy even when looking at the sky...

Its like I have no concentration or emotion.
I feel bored all the time.
I feel like doing nothing I have no motivation.

Then I feel really sad sometimes.... or frustrated... but i CANT feel happy or calm EVER.
Its hard to cry even... my body doesnt want to let me.

I know alot of this is me being alone all the time with no company maybe.
But what are the clinical terms for this?
Ive gotten to where im telling myself i am crazy.
I am going to get help for it next week from a therapist but I am going nuts wondering what is wrong with me
Pls help me someone

Last edited by Infowanter; 09-01-2004 at 12:13 AM.

 
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Old 09-01-2004, 07:25 AM   #2
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bm28 HB User
Re: Do I have OCD, Depression... Both or what pls help!

Hi Info. I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing so good. I absolutely think that at this point you need to go and talk to someone. They will be able to properly diagnose you. It does sound to me like you have OCD. I can relate when you talk about your praying each night. I also feel like I have to pray for everyone to be well and if a thought pops into my head I feel like if I don't pray for them then something bad will happen. Even though I've been in therapy for about 4-5 months now I can't stop doing that. That is one of the many, many things that I do that is related to my OCD. What other things do you do? It really sounds like you have depression too and maybe social anxiety disorder. Please let me know if you have any questions for me. Take Care and be well. Beth

 
Old 09-01-2004, 11:06 PM   #3
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Infowanter HB User
Re: Do I have OCD, Depression... Both or what pls help!

Hi Beth.

Well I catch myself when i do start to wonder off into a daydream or a time where i talk to myself.. ill immediatly feel so stressed and so worried that im going crazy that ill try to STOP what im thinking ... then ill just go to thinkin about something else.... i mean its like I cant have a quiet moment in my head and just enjoy whats going on around me... the trees blowing... the sun shining... its all faded and dull to me now... like i can never really be alert in the present

 
Old 09-02-2004, 07:30 PM   #4
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sanrun HB User
Re: Do I have OCD, Depression... Both or what pls help!

Hi, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I also, have the interanl conversations, so I can relate! I do it all the time! If I'm going to see a dr. or even a friend, I'll start having the conversation with them before I see them! Strange! I'm talking and talking in my head. Luckly, I don't hear any responses. It's just me! I do try to perdict what they will say and then prepare for that! It's like a conversation rehersal.

Well, let me know what you find out in therapy, cuz I'm just dealing with this on my own. I'm sort of used to it, because I have done this pretty much my whole life. I do have some other OCD things, too. But the less I talk about them the better off I am!

Take Care,

sanrun

 
Old 09-03-2004, 06:20 AM   #5
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kingam HB User
Re: Do I have OCD, Depression... Both or what pls help!

anxiety, ocd, and depression are all in the same family... why?

Anxiety causes OCD, which causes depression...

this is completely "normal" in the scheme of the disorder... i suggest you go talk to someone... i have often done the "conversation" thing... about this, as well as anything else... like when i had my 6 month review, i was playing out every conceivable conversation i might have with my boss... annoying, but i know EXACTLY what youre saying!!

 
Old 09-03-2004, 06:30 AM   #6
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bm28 HB User
Re: Do I have OCD, Depression... Both or what pls help!

Hi Info, yes I know exactly what you are saying. Before I was taking the meds. I would have to stop and think "Okay, now I'm going to think GOOD thoughts!" and I as stupid as it sounds I would make myself think about puppies and babies and meadows etc. (just like you) You have to remember, this is not normal thought process and it's a chemical imbalance! I had to go to my regular doctor yesterday and I had to tell him about my OCD & depression (the mere fact that I had to go and see him of course caused me much anxiety for months ahead of time) but after I told him he was like Oh, my sister has what you have and he said to just remember it's not different than having diabetes or high blood pressure, you can't help it! It's a chemical imbalance. You really should make an appointment. It's awful how much of our lives we waste worrying about our minds. Good luck, Beth

 
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