Re: Can anyone relate to my OCD?
Everything you said screams OCD! I have read many, many books on it! I also had intrusive sexual thoughts about family members, so I can relate. I hated the thoughts and they caused huge amounts of anxiety. I also had the fear of never waking up, when I was a kid, so I'm right there with you on that one, too!
I'm 42 and never talked about this to anyone, until I found some material online and another OCD board. That was a big turning point for me. I got better by doing things that myself help books suggested. The book IMP of the Mind, talks about a man, who had intrusive sexual thoughts about his mom. He used a CBT approach to get better. Read the book, it might help you. Really all obessive thoughts are the same, just different subject matter. Your mind latches onto what ever disturbs you the most at the time.
You said you got past the thing about your mom and then something new started. That is how OCD works. Realize that everytime a distrubing thought crosses your mind. I say to myself, Ok.. you are not going to make me freak, because I know what you are. I refuse to play the ruminating game. No more endless analyzing. Let the thoughts be and they will fade more quickly. Work at doing that everyday, that's what I have to do. I still have some difficult days, but over all, I'm way better.