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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 09-15-2004, 10:54 PM   #1
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jimmy4967 HB User
please help before

hi my name is jimmy im 17 i have been suffering from unknown for a while wheather it be paranoya or what i dont know but it affects me so much that i dont know what to do anymore i use to be normal i had lots of friends i went to school everything seemed to be alright.

my family life i thought was the worst my mother walked out on my family because she didn't want to be a parent anymore rather just party and have other guy's except for my dad. I was ok with it for some reason it hurt me very much to see my dad in a depressed state so i moved out of my house when i was 15. i moved in with my best friend and his family i pay rent and work and still try to go to school.

i dont know what i feel everyday i feel nomal when im at home but when i go to the store or places i get very nervous especially at school for some reason i worry about everything how i look what other people think it bothers me so much that i will become very uncomfotable it feels like im alway's holding in something .

just for example i was in school yesterday and i herd somone say somthing smells i knew it prob was not me but i freaked out and walked out of school mind you i swear to god i shower 2 to three times a day i alway's use deoderant but i worry'd about it so bad that im not comfortable around anyone exept the people i kno it's getting so bad i cant go to school and i have thoughts all the time about things i should not think of

it is 4 in the morning and im up worrying about school tomorrow please can someone give me some kind of help

 
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Old 09-16-2004, 01:56 PM   #2
fm5 fm5 is offline
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Re: please help before

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmy4967
hi my name is jimmy im 17 i have been suffering from unknown for a while wheather it be paranoya or what i dont know but it affects me so much that i dont know what to do anymore i use to be normal i had lots of friends i went to school everything seemed to be alright.

my family life i thought was the worst my mother walked out on my family because she didn't want to be a parent anymore rather just party and have other guy's except for my dad. I was ok with it for some reason it hurt me very much to see my dad in a depressed state so i moved out of my house when i was 15. i moved in with my best friend and his family i pay rent and work and still try to go to school.

i dont know what i feel everyday i feel nomal when im at home but when i go to the store or places i get very nervous especially at school for some reason i worry about everything how i look what other people think it bothers me so much that i will become very uncomfotable it feels like im alway's holding in something .

just for example i was in school yesterday and i herd somone say somthing smells i knew it prob was not me but i freaked out and walked out of school mind you i swear to god i shower 2 to three times a day i alway's use deoderant but i worry'd about it so bad that im not comfortable around anyone exept the people i kno it's getting so bad i cant go to school and i have thoughts all the time about things i should not think of

it is 4 in the morning and im up worrying about school tomorrow please can someone give me some kind of help
Hi Jimmy!

I'm sure everything will eventually work out for you. Just give it time!

Understand that your parent's separation or divorce has NOTHING to do with you. It is not your fault. For some odd reason, young kids tend to blame themselves for their parents splitting up, when, in fact, they had nothing to do with it.

You mentioned that you feel like "you are holding something in". It is quite natural to have feelings of anxiety when a family breaks up. You are not "strange or weird" for having these feelings!

One thing I want to ask is does your school have a counselor there? I only ask because in many schools counseling can be free to students. Nobody even has to know if you see one.

I am not at all saying you are crazy - you are not! I am just saying that sharing your anxiety with someone else eases alot of the anxiety most of the time. A counselor can also determine and tell you if "the thoughts that you have that you shouldn't think of" is obsessive compulsive disorder. You can save yourself alot of aggravation by working on getting it treated rather than letting o.c.d. (if you have it) get worse.

Believe me, I know what you are going through. I came from a really really messed up family and suffered horribly with panic attacks for awhile. I went into counseling and it really helped. All I could think of was "why didn't I do this before"?

Again, things will work out. It will just take time. And again, your parents' break up had nothing to do with you.

 
Old 09-17-2004, 06:45 AM   #3
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Re: please help before

Hey Jimmy,

I can really feel for you. Being awake in the middle of the night and worrying is no fun... and Gosh I know what it's like. It sounds like the anxiety you feel is really wearing on you and affecting your life. Of course you could say that with everything you went through, a certain degree of adaptive problem would be normal, but if it starts affecting your life like that I don't think it's something to just ignore.

I studied psychology... and just from my studies I can think of several disorders that could describe you. (The question would be, do we have to categorize people like that? Well I would say, if it helps find the right treatment, why not...)


OCD... ok, a few questions here maybe: Does the showering feel like a ritual to you? Is it something you HAVE to do (maybe even a certain way, at a certain time, etc), otherwise you feel anxiety? Do you try to resist having to shower but then the anxiety gets overwhelming and you give in to the urge after all?
That would be some typical OCD patterns, the obsession (e.g. "I am dirty", or "I smell") being temporarily relieved by the compulsion (e.g. taking a shower).

Something else that comes to mind is social anxiety disorder... maybe you can try to do a web search on that and see if the symptoms fit. It is mostly an extreme form of shyness or "stage fright".

What also came to my mind when I read your post was panic disorder... that would be panic attacks which make you afraid to leave the house because you are afraid you might have another panic (or anxiety) attack. I am not sure if your symptoms fit that.

Have you ever talked to a counselor?

I am sorry if it sounds like I am trying to play psychologist here. Just trying to be of help. I suffered from OCD for a long time and tried to find out by reading about all kinds of disorders what it might be... I just felt something was wrong, and I was suffering, didn't feel normal anymore, felt isolated, felt stuck... etc. Not a good feeling.

The good news is, there is a lot of help for these kinds of things!!! I wouldn't have believed (or hardly) at the time that I would ever be where I am now!!!

Good luck, and write more if you want to... And by all means, don't despiar. Even if your situation looks very dark now and you don't know how to get out of it... life is full of surprises. :-) And you are still very young too!

Kathrin

 
Old 09-17-2004, 08:16 AM   #4
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MrOwl HB User
Re: please help before

Jimmy,

What you are feeling is very normal. Those emotions are normal and appropriate. You need to find healthy productive ways to release those feelings. Getting counsel from a older person, whom you respect and trust, is probably the best route to take. It needs to be someone you can tell everything, and know they will fully accept you and respect you no matter what you say. Take your emotional energy now and use it to find that person or persons. Represssing your emotions now will most likely cause you great harm both now and later in life. Get help man!

 
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