Originally Posted by jimmy4967
hi my name is jimmy im 17 i have been suffering from unknown for a while wheather it be paranoya or what i dont know but it affects me so much that i dont know what to do anymore i use to be normal i had lots of friends i went to school everything seemed to be alright.
my family life i thought was the worst my mother walked out on my family because she didn't want to be a parent anymore rather just party and have other guy's except for my dad. I was ok with it for some reason it hurt me very much to see my dad in a depressed state so i moved out of my house when i was 15. i moved in with my best friend and his family i pay rent and work and still try to go to school.
i dont know what i feel everyday i feel nomal when im at home but when i go to the store or places i get very nervous especially at school for some reason i worry about everything how i look what other people think it bothers me so much that i will become very uncomfotable it feels like im alway's holding in something .
just for example i was in school yesterday and i herd somone say somthing smells i knew it prob was not me but i freaked out and walked out of school mind you i swear to god i shower 2 to three times a day i alway's use deoderant but i worry'd about it so bad that im not comfortable around anyone exept the people i kno it's getting so bad i cant go to school and i have thoughts all the time about things i should not think of
it is 4 in the morning and im up worrying about school tomorrow please can someone give me some kind of help
I'm sure everything will eventually work out for you. Just give it time!
Understand that your parent's separation or divorce has NOTHING to do with you. It is not your fault. For some odd reason, young kids tend to blame themselves for their parents splitting up, when, in fact, they had nothing to do with it.
You mentioned that you feel like "you are holding something in". It is quite natural to have feelings of anxiety when a family breaks up. You are not "strange or weird" for having these feelings!
One thing I want to ask is does your school have a counselor there? I only ask because in many schools counseling can be free to students. Nobody even has to know if you see one.
I am not at all saying you are crazy - you are not! I am just saying that sharing your anxiety with someone else eases alot of the anxiety most of the time. A counselor can also determine and tell you if "the thoughts that you have that you shouldn't think of" is obsessive compulsive disorder. You can save yourself alot of aggravation by working on getting it treated rather than letting o.c.d. (if you have it) get worse.
Believe me, I know what you are going through. I came from a really really messed up family and suffered horribly with panic attacks for awhile. I went into counseling and it really helped. All I could think of was "why didn't I do this before"?
Again, things will work out. It will just take time. And again, your parents' break up had nothing to do with you.