Can i have your opinions on whether i have ocd or not? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

slayerdude · 11-13-2004, 05:22 PM

Past Obsessions-

-I wouldn't allow clean clothes to be placed on bed. The clothes were clean, and the bed was dirty. I would wipe the clothes off if they touched the bed. I wouldn't sit on bed in morning before school if I had already put my clothes on.

-I didn't want to have bowel movement before or during school. I am pretty sure that one time after I did, I got back in the shower to clean off again.

-One time while taking a test and the room was quiet, my stomach started to rumble loudly and make noises. After that for a good year or two, I always feared situations that would be quiet (school mostly) because it might happen again.

-Would look myself over in the mirror before going anywhere to make sure nothing was on my clothes. (not sure if I did this everyday)

(These did not trouble me all at once, it seems like i would get over one, and started thinking about something else to worry me)

Present obsessions-

-I have this pressure on the left side of my head, and sometimes I'll think that I have a tumor. I know that if i had a tumor that I would be having seizures and things, but sometimes i really think I do. And then I'll think, what if i do have seizures but just don't know it?

-I know that you, me and everything is made of a bunch of little atoms and stuff like that. And that everything we experience is just electrical signals going to our brains, but sometimes I'll think so deeply about it that it scares me to think that nothing is "real". (sounds like something from the matrix, i know)

-sometimes feel like I have no control over my thoughts, or what randomly pops into my head

-sometimes i think that i am "retarded". thats the first thought that comes to mind everytime i occasionally forget something like getting a towel when i take a shower.

- This one is really stupid... In public places with people I don't know or know to well, i'll get this thought that i basically shat myself, and I'll start getting nervous and think about getting up to check, just to reasure myself (many many times i have)

-sitting on the toilet for an hour before school trying to go so i won't have to go at school. (i have stayed home many days that i didn't go)

-i have conversations with other people in my head all the time

-sometimes i like to pretend that people can see what I see through my eyes as i go about my day. i know noone can, but i think about it sometimes.

btw...im 19, if that matters.....

slayerdude · 11-14-2004, 02:05 PM

anyone wanna comment?

Kathrin74 · 11-16-2004, 12:22 PM

OK, some of these things do sound like OCD-type thought to me, especially the clothes-on-the-bed worries, showering after going to the bathroom, and having to reassure yourself that you hadn't shat yourself... others may or may not be obsessions, it probably depends on how much they interfere with your life and how much you suffer from them. For example, thinking about "nothing is real" is normal to an extent, but if it becoems a constant worry (an obsession), then it can be a symptom of OCD. One thing to look for is: Are those thoughts unwanted, do they just pop up, and you try not to think them, but the more you try to repress them, the more they come up again and worry you? (Maybe this is what you mean when you say you feel you can't control your thoughts sometimes?)

It would also be typical that one worry would leave and then your brain would stary clinging on to the next worry... this happened with my OCD a lot.

Does this help a little bit?
Maybe you can talk to a counselor at school, do you have a health center there or something?

Kathrin

bm28 · 11-16-2004, 02:40 PM

Hi slayerdude, It definitely could be OCD but there are many different levels of OCD. Generally speaking, some of those things are perfectly normal for a 19 year old. In fact, everyone has "something weird" that they do. However, when these thoughts/obsessions start to interfere with your daily functioning then usually a doctor will prescribe a medication or suggest some type of therapy to help you learn how to handle life again. My thoughts were mainly about death and I was obsessed with it. I am doing much better now because I take Luvox.

slayerdude · 11-16-2004, 04:46 PM

Are those thoughts unwanted, do they just pop up, and you try not to think them, but the more you try to repress them, the more they come up again and worry you? (Maybe this is what you mean when you say you feel you can't control your thoughts sometimes?)

yeah, that's what i mean. i have absolutly no control over these thoughts, they seem to come and go as they please. it's definatley interfering with my daily life. i quit going to school because i was tired of be nervous for 7 and 1/2 hours everyday. and sometimes when hanging out with my friends, i'll tell them that i have to go, and then ill leave.

i just got back from the psychiatrist today. i made a list of all these thoughts to show him. i tried to hand it to him, but he said he won't read it, he wanted me to. so then i told him that the reason i made the list is so i wouldn't have tell him outloud. then he said "it's obvious that you don't want help, there's the door". he didn't seem to be very understanding. what an ***!
what do i do now?