flossie22

so my ocd is back in the form that i am convinced that i am a psychopath and that i will kill my bf. convinced. this thought hasnt come since this time last year but i get so nerrvous that it might be true. because, if i have the mental image of the thought, it doesnt scare me. now, that doesnt mean i want to do it, it just means it doesnt scare me. But when i see him, sleeping peacefully or doing something cute, i think NEVER. ever woudl i do anythign i know its a product of my mind but i CANNOT stop worrying abotu it. I went tothe dr yesterday , another therapsit becaus emine is out of town. she was ok, but she was asking me questions like, well do you have a plan, or weapons.. OF COURSE NOT! and i got so upset. i also get extremel anxious when i lookat stuff on line because i had myself convinced that i was someone capable of doing these things. The only thing that helps me is self talk to a certain extent, and this site, which validates i am not alone. but how do i know im not a psychopath if the thought doesnt scare me? i mean i dont want to do it, but the mental image of it doenst make me cry. now, i mean it doesnt make me happy either. i just dont feel either way abtou it. i feel slightly better today, but i get so scared and nervous about having the thoughts. please help.l.