darrinhpt

Rescently I watched a program linking OCD and Anxiety. It explained that OCD is an anxiety disorder. That made a lot sense to me.
Anyhow, Im just curious as to weather or not I have OCD or the beginnings of it.
As a child I was very VERY anxious. I know now that I certainly had some form of anxiety disorder. I would obsess about the safety of my family members and would be physically ill (throwing up, hyperventelating,) if my mom or dad was even a minute late, this continued untill I was about 15 or 16 years of age.
I also had bizarre rituals ie. every night before bed I would say to both parents " Ill see you in the morning, and youll see me" if they did not say this back I would force myself to stay awake all night in fear that myself or my parents would die. I also had a list I had to recite to myself every night. ie. 1. " My parents will be alive tomorrow"2. "My house will not catch fire"... this list had about 50 things, this went on untill I was about 12.

Anyway, this all disappeared by the time I was 16 except for very strange sexual fantasies. These started when I was about 13 years old. I wont go into details, but the fantasies I have are truly bizare and make me think Im such a weird person. They are not violent in anyway and me and my "partner" in the fantasy are always concentual, but they are definately abnormal. They include almost no sex, just medical proceedures and me caring for the person I am with. Whenever I have a spare moment I slip into fantasy, I usualy have the same fantasy for about a month. Then I get bored and make a new one up. I really worry about this. It disturbs me that I cannot have normal thoughts.
I wanted to know if this sounds like OCD or some kind of Sexual disorder.
Im thinlking its linked to my childhood anxiety because when I was a child I was obsessed with medical procedures and health problems... Just not in a sexual way.
Hope I didnt scare anyone.