alexis222

Hi I am new here but not new to ocd. Hoping by telling my story I can help someone else. My ocd has gone through several stages first mild to quite severe.First started with checking ( doors,locks, stove) then led to me carrying my curling iron and iron with me in my car for fear I would leave on. New something wasn't quite right and discovered ocd on internet and realized that is me.But didn't do anything about until one day had a horrible obsession and couldn't check. Scared me to the point where I had a breakdown. Finally had to get help (counseling) which helped extremely to recognize and realize that I had ocd. Recommend a specialist in ocd. Went through a couple pychologists that didn't even know what it was. Also read everything I could on ocd at the library and on internet. Everything was under control until I had my son. Wham back the ocd monster came. Have my share of obsessions but its now the ones that really bother me that I get stuck on. I do a lot of ruminating which has taken a lot of joy out of my life! I'll have to go off to a quiet spot or just by myself so I can go over it in my mind. Just torchure because about an hour goes by and I have to do again. So at first during the day if I felt like I had to do this I would tell myself I couldn't until a designated time, for me that was at night before bed. Did this so I could try and enjoy my life and the days. After a while I just got so tired of it I stopped doing it. Now its to the point where I just say to myself your never going to figure out so no point in thinking about it. LIVING WITH UNCERTAINTY IS THE SOLUTION! Very very hard I know. Were never going to do it, dont want to do it, and if your going over it with what if's, its ocd!!Sometimes when I feel my thoughts rolling out of control I just tell myself its ocd getting the best of me and quit worrying. Sometimes I also doubt do I have ocd what if I did but now I dont and things really happen. It is a scary illness!
would love to hear from others who are going through what I am. Also wanted to say I take prozac and have taken for about 7yrs. Works great for me and I notice a lot of people do not take this one. Also no weight gain!
god bless
alexis