hiya all
my head is seriously messed up,and i think im seriously going mental or something..anyway,i will try to explain. Right,First thing is,i done something real bad when i was 12,im not going to say what it was,but it was bad,and now for some reason,5year's later,its haunting me,i mean,i forgot about it till now.every day it haunts me. and i am so scared and upset,and i cant work out why i did it..also,i have morbid thought's.ive saw somewhere that this is called morbid obsessions? but,i dunno! i don't wanna hurt anyone,and when i have these thought's i feel like dying,i seriously do..sometimes i imagen doing this morbid things..and my god it scares me so much! i am a nasty evil person,i must be!. i have weird thoughts every single day! like,im not real,or what if this is all a dream,what if i die,what if my family really isnt my family,what if i do a certain thing and accidently harm someone..what if my family hate me and i dont know about it,what if i hurt my family,what if im going mental..and sometimes im to scared to do certain thing's,incase i get ill,or faint...or die.I used to always be changing my bedroom around,but now i wont incase i go mad :s...and,when people talk about movin house,i panic incase i go insane...thing's like this haunt my mind everyday. I dont feel like myself anymore..and its all getting 2 much.and like,if i look forward to something*which is hardly ever now* i think im going to die before it happens.Im terribley scared..im sixteen,and most teenagers are out there having the time of there life,while im here suffering none stop about thing's which i dont even wanna do!and i think about things which i dont even belive are true,but yet i still worry none stop! .. Also,i was watchin a programme the other day about this alien abduction,and i worried incase it would happen 2 me,if i watch a horror movie,like scream..i worry incase i can kill someone like that person behind the mask does! A man my mum and dad knows hung himself the other day..and i just freaked,i thought i was going to try to hang myself,and i thought even if i didnt want to..what if i just lost it and done it. and then i got even more morbid thought's.also,i worry that i will get serious illness's..erm,i know i sound like a nutcase lol,and i actually feel like one.but,ive been feeling like this for 3yrs..erm,it didnt get this bad till april tho,which is when i got very ill and didnt go out for like 3months..,and then suddenly,i get even worse. i heard my dad talkin about this man who had OCD..and some bits sounded like me,so i looked it up,and alot of it is me..could any of you tell me what you think might be up? or maybe as i said,im just an evil nasty nutcase,ive no idea...i really havent.
thank you so much...
Please post a reply a.s.a.p
Leonna
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Last edited by moderator2; 12-01-2004 at 06:37 PM.
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I suggest you print out what you told us and take it to a doc and ask him to read it, it sounds like you have some sort of anxiety and OCD related problems and some meds, probably an antidepressant should help
everything you said I have heard before, your thoughts or fears arent unusual, doc wont be surprised 16 year olds often have your problems
I suggest you print out what you told us and take it to a doc and ask him to read it, it sounds like you have some sort of anxiety and OCD related problems and some meds, probably an antidepressant should help
everything you said I have heard before, your thoughts or fears arent unusual, doc wont be surprised 16 year olds often have your problems
Thank you for replying
im on antidepressant's,saroxat*or however they are spelt* lol.
i have alot of other problems 2 u see,im also agraphobic..and other things lol,a doctor is coming out on the 13th,and mums telling him about it all then..im
First, you're not alone. This is very common OCD stuff. Do you have a psychiatrist?
Another thing...other teenagers aren't having the time of their lives. Trust me, it's one of the hardest times of your life and it *will* get easier!
I had so many similar thoughts you have and people swear I'm a sweetheart, so don't beat yourself up too much. I am on Paxil and Seroquel and things are SO much easier now. I still have bad days from time to time, but it's at a level I can handle, and most of the time I feel pretty comfortable with myself. And no, I don't think you're likely to act on bad thoughts. I've had them forever and haven't acted on a single one.
You know what I personally can really relate to? The part where you say that when you are looking forward to something, you are afraid you are going to die before it. When I was about your age (almost 30 now, wow that's hard to believe!! I still feel like a kid sometimes;-)) I often had those kinds of fears.
Yes and I was also very sad because I saw all those other people who looked so happy and careless (who knows if they really were, though)... and here I was, just worrying almost all the time.
(Really now looking back I believe that all things happen for a reason, and everything leads to growth, and I am happy with the person who I have become!!! You are probably much deeper, maybe more intelligent, and most likely more sensitive than people who don't have those problems. They say OCD happens to smart people... maybe we're too smart for our own good sometimes?) ;-)
Yeah, I would say a lot of what you describe does sound like OCD. Those morbid thoughts... they don't mean that you are "mental". (Well we're all mental somehow, I mean everybody, right?) :-) And most importantly: They don't mean that you are bad. Those obsessions are always about things we would NEVER do, that's why we worry about them! It's the "what if I do it" fear that is so worrisome, right? It's something that scares you, not something that you would want to do.
It is great that you are going to see your doctor. Try to be as open as possible. Don't be ashamed of those thoughts; tell him exactly how you feel. Be assured that he has heard very similar stories many times!!!! He won't judge you are think you are just crazy. But he can only help you if he knows what is going on, right?
If the medication you are on doesn't work, maybe you'll have to try another one. But first you have to give it enough time at a high enough dose.
Oh, whatever it is that you did so many years ago... it sounds like you need to find some closure there. Can you talk to somebody about it? Maybe a priest or something, or a counselor?
See we all do things that we regret later, we are all just human... and even if it was something really bad, there is forgiveness. (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
Heya,HELP? 
16 year olds often have your problems
Re: Heya,HELP? 
so don't beat yourself up too much. I am on Paxil and Seroquel and things are SO much easier now. I still have bad days from time to time, but it's at a level I can handle, and most of the time I feel pretty comfortable with myself. And no, I don't think you're likely to act on bad thoughts. I've had them forever and haven't acted on a single one.
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