OH MY GOD I can SEE!!! - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Toribelle · 02-25-2005, 12:39 PM

I HAVE OCD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEN years I was trying to figure out what my problem is! I was diagnosed as Bi Polar for a while, then ADD and now I finally have a doctor that listens and looks and THINKS and he saw it. I had NO CLUE! I mean I knew something was wrong - but not what - nothing ever fit "just right". The ADD was close - but not quite.

I can't wait to be able to start my life. I'm in tears - he told me this on Tuesday and it's taken a few days of thinking and then reading - and it just smacked me in the head after reading a really good article describing it. See - I always thought of OCD as just counting and checking - but I deal with more of the obtrusive thoughts. They keep me from moving anywhere at all - I'm just stuck. The insecurity they bring just stopped me in my tracks. I've been abusing opiates, because they made me feel better and allowed me to move forward. I thought that addiction was going to be so hard to beat - but know that I know why I was doing it - I don't think I really need it anymore. I mean I'm clean right now and have been for two weeks.

I know it's a long road - but I don't mind taking it now that I know I have a proper diagnosis! I'm so glad I got a real doctor this time and I'm so glad to have this board because I'm going to be parking it here for a while!

Tell me tell me, do you feel this wonderful when you realized what the problem was??? I knew I had something going on - so the thought of having a mental illnes may not be the best one - but at least I know which one it is!

Tori

bm28 · 02-25-2005, 01:05 PM

When I first found out I had OCD it was like OMG it all makes sense now! It's such a relief to know what's been wrong all these years and that you're not crazy. Wow-what a relief to finally figure it out.

lachesis · 02-25-2005, 01:53 PM

that's wonderful, i'm very happy for you.

unfortunately for me i've been diagnosed with ocd, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety with psychotic features, and number of other different things and i can see a bit of truth in all of them. it would be really nice to have an official diagnosis that fits, because it sort of allows you to forgive yourself for all the things you can't do, and all the issues you struggle with. not as though it's an excuse for anything, but you don't have to beat yourself up for struggling where other people don't seem to have any difficulties because you know you are trying your best. so consider yourself very lucky

Toribelle · 02-25-2005, 02:12 PM

Lachesis - first of all thank you.

Now, is it that none of them fit exactly? Or that when you are treating one - others pop up? I mean I might not be in the clear here either...we'll see when we treat the OCD. I'm sure I HAVE OCD now - but not sure that's all there is - hope so. I'm interested in why you can't seem to find your groove - can you tell me more?

Tori

Yog-Sothoth · 02-25-2005, 11:50 PM

I just found out from a friend that OCD is what I have, and I'm not really sure what to think. Now when I get those weird thoughts, I get confused and think "So... should I act on them or not? Now that I know it's OCD, if I do what they say, that just means I'm being self-indulgent or something, doesn't it?" So it's very, very confusing.