I'm Afraid of the World - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Ric9 · 02-27-2005, 10:08 AM

I'm a 23 year old male. I've had a problem of needing to start at the beginning of the month to being improving my life for the longest time. For some reason I feel like if it's the beginning of the month then I haven't made any mistakes yet. Somehow I need that reassurance. Months turn into years. I've wasted almost 6 years since high school and I haven't done anything with my life. I always come up with reasons to sabotage any success. Not that I've had much success. I tell myself that at the beginning of March I'll improve my life but I've already come up with stupid non-sensical reasons for why that wont' work. I'm going to try anyway. I told myself that at the beginning of this year I would start improving and that didn't work out either. I think it mainly has to do with my fear of the world. I'm short, I look young for my age, I have acne, I'm overweight and I'm losing my hair. Nothing seems to be going my way. How do I break out of this cycle of fear of being in the world so I don't waste another month like this. I'm so sad that I've wasted so much time.
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frosty4 · 02-27-2005, 01:46 PM

Just have failth in yourself and you can break out of the cycle. You can do anything you want to do and you appear motivated. There are many people who truly do care about you and want to help and listen. I am praying for you! Do you have OCD??

Rark · 02-27-2005, 11:17 PM

This may sound a little unconventional, but how about using your compulsion to help overcome it. Convince yourself that you will start your life over next WEEK. The next time the sun rises. The next time you wake up and step out of bed. Whichever.

Now, when you say you've convinced yourself how things won't work out, how exactly do you mean? What is your initial plan (if anything specific) that you feel simply won't pan out. Perhaps you have some sort of overly high expectation as to what one needs to accomplish in some sort of given time frame.

Ric9 · 02-28-2005, 03:41 AM

I just don't want to start improving and then have nagging thoughts that I started at the wrong time and that it's all a waste of time. That's why I feel like just waiting till next month. If I think about it, I can come up with reasons for why next month wouldn't work either or the month after that. It's been going on for years!

Rark · 03-01-2005, 11:12 AM

If you feel you can't get over this on your own, therapy and possibly medication may be very helpful for you.

Again, I feel I must let you know that this is NOT your fault. OCD is very debilitating to a great many people. If it is at all reassuring: You sincerely don't need to wait to the begining of a month, because dates are arbitrarily defined by those who made them up--at one point there was no such thing as a date, but the days rolled on nonetheless.

As for improving yourself...don't put too mjuch weight on your shoulders. Plenty of people are unsure of their direction in life, myself included.