Any Born Again Christians with religious OCD? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

siren1024 · 03-02-2005, 12:18 PM

Just wondering if some of you could share your experience. It is something I have struggled with for years, doubts about my salvation, not being able to pray the "right" way, repeating prayers over and over because I feared God didn't hear them because my heart or mind wasn't quite in the right place. I also repeatedly think about past sins and ask forgiveness over and over because I worry I didn't do it right the first time. I doubt my salvation because I always worry that I missed some crucial "step" in my salvation experience, which is ridiculous, because I believe in free grace and everything. If there was a "step" I missed, that would be a works based salvation, which I don't believe in anyway! I was very young when I was saved, raised in church, and have great Christian parents. My mom shows alot of the same tendencies that I do, though. I never thought about religious OCD until a former pastor told me I was a textbook case when I went to him to discuss my doubts.

Christianity has brought alot of piece and joy to my life, but I also need to learn how to get rid of these doubts and obsessions so I can be a more productive Christian. I often feel like "I can't do it right anyway so why even bother" even though I KNOW I believe that Christ makes up for my shortcomings. Why is there this disparity between what I believe and what goes on in my head?

Anyone who's struggled similarly, I'd love to hear from you. Just so you know "changing religions" is absolutely NOT an option to me. How do I get past the constant nagging doubting obsessions to really enjoy my faith the way other people do?????

Pillowtalkk · 03-02-2005, 02:39 PM

I kinda know how you feel , i used to say my prayers over and over every night, i thought the more times i said it , better chance of it coming true. I believe in God but sometimes i feel guilty is my mind says what if there isnt? then i think did God hear that and start to feel guilty. To me what i believe is right, so i doubt know why sometimes my mind things others things and this is one subject that my OCD does bother me most. Iknow he can hear the first prayer so why say more?

Rark · 03-02-2005, 03:34 PM

While I'm not a born again Christian, I can say that's a classic symptom of OCD. One which I have also suffered from. Even that I'm very much better now, I still find myself saying some of the meorized prayer repetitions in the back of my mind.

Proper OCD therapy and possibly medication has worked for many. For me, I did some major soul searching and decided that the God I believe I know is very just and compassionate. He would know my true heart and intentions, and understand human nature's mistakes and doubts and "mind-slips". I'm not sure how this idea could tie in with your faith, but maybe that will help some if you don't wish to pursue therapy just yet. I hope this helped some.

siren1024 · 03-02-2005, 03:48 PM

Rark, that's exactly what I believe in my heart about the nature of God. That's the frustrating thing, is why does my mind do this to me??? I believe that God won't let me "accidently" lose my soul if I'm seeking His will. I know deep down. But for some reason I still struggle with all the "what if's".

Pillow, I used to have the same fear all the time. Where "what if God doesn't exist?" would just pop into my head when I was trying to pray and then I'd think "Oh my goodness, I know God heard that!!" And I'd have to ask forgiveness about a million times. It would get to the point that I wouldn't even want to pray because I'd have these constant intrusive or doubting thoughts everytime I was trying to pray, and I felt like I was "messing up" and "missing something" everytime I prayed.

It's nice to know other people feel this way too!

Pillowtalkk · 03-02-2005, 04:32 PM

Thats how feel about God if he knows everything then he will know where my heart is and that i have a problem , it is wierd that some of the thoughts come from no where and your like MAN what made me think that because i dont believe it. Yes i am glad there is others out there like me =) what is wierd seems like alot of everyones OCD's are the same as alot of peoples. I used to just think i was wierd and like hmmm why was i thinking that and that no could ever have the same thing as me when it came to God =/