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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 04-05-2005, 01:40 PM   #1
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McFly HB User
OCD or a need for reassurance?

Hey,

I've been struggling with OCD for a long time, but I've never understood it. Sometimes I feel like I still don't. I've dealt with this problem over the years, but around high school, I finally was able to overcome it. Everything in my life felt managable and I have a lot of fond memories of school and college. However, during my junior year of college, I cut my arm. I've given up trying to find reasons why, maybe bravado, maybe low self-esteem, whatever. However, I believe this amplified my constant rumination about problems in my life. They have always been there, but after this event, they became, at times, uncontrollable. I used to always look for reassurance that things were okay from my family, but now it I realize it is up to me to help me, to reassure me.

The problem is, however, whenevery I reassure myself about problems that I find in my life, whenver they are really taken care of and I wonder why I worried about them in the first place, a creeping doubt whispers, "Are you sure? Is this all a facade?" Then slowly it starts over again until finally I reach the point where everything seems taken care of. Problem is, self-doubt usually shows up and tries to tear everything down.

What I am trying to figure out is, the things I worry about (and they are numerous) I haven't worried about before. It seems that I was able to put them in their place and recognize that the worries were just worries. Recently, I worry that whatever I worry about (my future, reality, self-confidence) is easily amplified to the point where I have to take a few hours out of my life and reanalyze everything. I still reach the conclusion where I realize that there is nothing to worry about. The only problem is, when I reach this area, I feel great; but the self-doubt always creeps back.

I am on Luvox and am also taking dietary supplements choline, inosotil, fish oil, and vitamin D. I also see my college therapist. I realize, however, that the only one who can help is myself. Maybe this is just a rant, but I really wonder whether or not this is OCD or just my need for reassurance which has been absent for a while.

Eh, sorry about the long post. There are times when I feel like my old self again which is a far cry from my darkest times. I guess I really just need to help myself, which is what I realized. Self-doubt be damned. I know that I am good enough and deserving of what life has to offer. I guess sometimes I just feel alone with my problems.

Any thoughts?
We can overcome this.

 
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Old 04-05-2005, 08:52 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Casey5 HB User
Re: OCD or a need for reassurance?

I think you need to make an appt with a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapist) to have all your symptoms evaluated. You seem to have more than one disorder going on and it is not clear from what you have described that you actually have OCD. A CBT trained in ERP (exposure response prevention) the treatment for OCD, will be able to evaluate you and your symptoms and diagnose them. The cutting is part of what is called OCSD (obsessive compulsive spectrum disorders) but it is not OCD. The treatment for OCSD's are different than the treatment for OCD. Other things that fall into the catagory of OCSD's are BDD, anorexia, skin picking, etc.

I wanted to add that the best thing you can do, if you do have OCD, is start to educate yourself about it and the treatment for it. You need to learn what ERP is and how and why it works. You will do much better in treatment if you understand this. There are numerous books on OCD. A good place to start is at the OC Foundation webiste [url]www.ocfoundation.org[/url]. You will find tons of informations written by the top OCD experts and psychopharmacologist in the country and world. Go to ****** and type in OCD, and ERP and you will find tons more information. But read a book as well. A good first book to read is Gail Steketee's book, When Once Is Not Enough. It is easy to read and understand and explains ERP very well.

Good Luck,
Casey

Last edited by Casey5; 04-05-2005 at 08:56 PM.

 
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