I am new here and looking for help - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

ronigurl · 05-19-2005, 06:17 AM

Hello to all, I am new here and seeking advice/reassurance. I was just diagnosed recently with both bipolar disorder, and obsessional thinking. Originally, 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with having GAD and hypochondria. I have been obsessed with my health for a long time, but recently, I started to obsess over my mental health. I started worrying and I was see images in my head ofe me being put in a mental institution, I would see phrases and words in my head, and I would have a major panic attack everytime it happened. I was sent to see a psychiatrist, who put me on seroquel to stabilize me. Initially,my obsessing got worse, and I had horrible images of hurting one of my kids(this happened after I picked up a knife), that scared me to death and I avoided knives, and scissors for a week after that happened. THis has been really traumatic for me, and I am still obsessing. Last night, a thought came out of nowhere, and it scared me. I had the thought "what if I started hearing voices"? Of course, my brain supplied me with an example, and I have been obsessing since then. I am really freaked out, I don't understand why this keeps happening, why I cannot control my thoughts. I am supposed to be adding an antidepressent to my seroquel, the psychiatrist said that this will help with the obsessing, but I am currently soo worried about my latest obsession that I cannot see straight. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? Am I going crazy?? I would appreciate any advice, as I am at my wits end.

Thanks, Roni

yfguitarist · 05-19-2005, 12:36 PM

I haven't experienced this at a level as high as yours, but I understand about how dangerous thought suggestions can be to your mind.

CANEY GIRL · 05-22-2005, 09:55 PM

I Have Struggled With Anxiety For Many Years. Oh How Well I Know About The "what If" Thinking. Many People With Ocd Have Unwanted Very Scary Thoughts About Hurting Theirselves Or Others.the Only Advice I Can Give You Is That Your Not Alone. Your Symptoms Are Not Uncommon. Please Keep Posting You'll Find Alot Of People Who Care On This Board.please Hang In There.

ronigurl · 05-23-2005, 05:28 AM

Thank you for replying Caney Girl, I was beginning to think that everyone thought I was crazy. I have been soo blown away by how intense my unwanted thoughts were, I don't even know how to say how overwhelming it is to not be able to get rid of a thought. I have been getting along better the last few days, I must be on a downside, and I hope I stay that way! My therapist is not really helpful, he always wants to talk about my anxiety levels, he has not done any CBT, which I read is really helpful for OCD, especially pure-O. I am going to buy a book to help me, does any on have any recommendations??

Ronigurl

basal1999 · 05-23-2005, 07:30 PM

"the imp of the mind" is specifically about int. thoughts
about hurting your children.

"the panic diaries" also has a chapter about it.

int. thoughts about hurting your kids are the worst
thing in life!!

when my son was a newborn, i went thru hell, i do
much better now but they creep in from time to time.

the more you fight it, the worse it will become, you
are giving it power by trying to analyze it. it is your
brain misfiring and freaking you out...

one technique is to think the thought over and over again..
until you realize you will not do it and it might even
become silly to think about??

it's not even the thought, it's the panic created by
the thought...i take 1/2 xanex as needed and it
helps alot....i've also been on paxil for 4 years.

good luck, keep me updated, i will check back.

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY AND ARE NOT GOING TO
HURT ANYONE.....I'LL BET MY EYEBALLS ON IT