kiraannewife

this moning I was starting to feel better from being sick from one of my other meds. and oh man I got frecked out over the fact that i had let to much in my eyes that is go bad around the house. I was trying to wake my hubby to go see his Dr. He's hard to wake up and I take care of his brotter he's a 50ish retarded and outistic handycap person and he can get mean and pushy and mean to himself if he doen't get his way when he want's it ***** mostly means do it right now . well he was geting this way and trying to be pushy and altogether just mad cause i haden't bathed him or dresed him yet or feed him yet cause I needed to stay close to hubby or he would go back to sleep he's on lots of med so it's hard for him to wake up some times .So I was yelling at him and trying to do dishes , clean litter pans, the coffie area, counters, make jimmys bed clean his bed he wets himslef and is in dipers so I lysal it the put protchon on it with a sheet . Well any way hubbys mom we care for her she cant live by herslef . his mom start in about jimmy wanting taken care of other than drink and diper he had all that and was wanting to dress him well I freeked because all I could think about was ouw he's not clean can't put that on him dirty so I yelled at her and at jimmy and at hubby for being so slow wakeing up and for not haveing every thing the way I want it to look and mom for saying something about jimmy and jimmy for not being pationt with me . I felt atacked by all of them and like a faluar and like I was being jugged I started to have a anxiaty atack I had to take med . I made mom cry made hubby mad so I finly blerted out what I was thinking and feeling and mom got me med and we hugged and cryed together told her and hubby sorry mom helped me with chores and so did hubby hubby also made a sugestion doing the gros. run tomarow so I could clean and feel les presure that helped. I finly got things done cleaning and my exersise and everything else but man it was a bad one and I feel after words so bad about the way I acted and mom was just trying to help and I just couldn't handle the pee thing and everyone wanting stuff while i was cleaning.