i can't control the evil thoughts - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

4pbears · 06-02-2005, 07:12 PM

i have had OCD for over 35 years, but in the last couple of years it has been a lot worse. i also have been a christian for over 25 years, but in the last few months i am having a hard time still believing in God or Jesus, or even that they exist. it has gotten to the point that i can't control my thoughts anymore, its like they are automatic, and center on evil thoughts. for example today, i am having thoughts that i am the devil. these thoughts like i said just come on anytime, and these evil thoughts just pop in like they were normal everyday thoughts. i have prayed for years to God to ask him for his help with this, and the only answer i seem to get is silence. after having OCD for over 35 years, i am worn out, and exhausted trying to fight these thoughts with little success to speak of. i don't or can't call on God to help me with this anymore because as i said earlier, i really haven't gotten an answer in 25 years. i guess i am to the point of just asking myself what i did to deserve having a life like this, why am i being punished like this? well i guess the reason why i am writing this is to ask if anyone is or has felt like this.

Dave.

Losec20mg · 06-02-2005, 08:32 PM

hmm ok listen to me Dave..i also lived many years with thaughts like those where i had the devil sleeping under my bed, and, seeing blood on peoples faces wherever i went and, i took so many meds but, nothing cured my thaughts..until 16 months ago when my doctor found out that i had a gluten allergy..gluten for me was the monster in my intestine...ever since iv been gluten free all those thaughts have disapeared and, no more meds..and, no more negative thoughts.. ok..just wanted to let you know that the problem might not be in your head..but, more likely in your gutt..go get tested for allergies...maybe you are suffering for an intolarence.. good luck

I am almost sure that it is a food that you are eating thats doing this.

yfguitarist · 06-03-2005, 12:04 PM

I'm a Christian as well and I"ve been having evil thoughts, too, just like wanting to kill people and stuff

bondgrll · 06-05-2005, 11:52 PM

Are you on any SSRIs? Prozac and Zoloft are supposed to be excellent for OCD...at high doses. Also you should be evaluated by a psychiatrist. Having to live with those thoughts is no way to live. I'm a Christian too, and I feel that God put medicine in the hands of people to help others that may need them. I used to be real caught up in the "don't want to take medicine" thing, that I should be able to "pray" away bad thoughts....didn't happen. Good luck

yfguitarist · 06-06-2005, 12:19 AM

I don't think you're talking to me but I'm not on drugs or seeing a doctor. I need to, though. I know that's what's keeping me from getting help partially, that I should be able to pray away bad thoughts, I've been trying to for five years, maybe God is trying to get me to get help. That's what my dad thinks, too, which is another thing keeping me from getting help.