Feel like I am going crazy sometimes - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

dollface001 · 06-09-2005, 10:05 AM

I posted here about a month or two ago.

I have OCD. Obsessions.

I started seeing a therapist this past weekend, and so far she seems good. she has handled patients with OCD before, knew without me going into detail, what I was experiencing with my obsessions, etc. I was able even in the first session to understand a little better my OCD. Even though I had done some reading in the past on this topic, I still doubted whether I was going to snap or go crazy but she was able to help that doubt subside a little by her knowledge and giving me tips on how to deal.

The problem is my next appointment is Wed and i am pms'ing and feeling extremely irrational like i am losing my mind, i'm on edge. I'm second guessing myself constantly. I had a few glasses of wine last night (my only indulgence and I don't drink that often) it usually doesn't go right to my head but I guess because of the pms and the heat, it did. I went to bed, and maybe I woke up during the night in a haze, I think I was dreaming(but I'm not 100% sure), thinking i was different person(i couldn't remember the context of this thought), and this morning I didn't know whether I was asleep or awake when the though popped into my mind and now i'm worried I am going crazy. And often lately, maybe it is the anxiety, my head is really clouded and I am forgetting and confusing things. I have a lot going on in my life. I am getting married, just bought a house, etc. So logically, I can say, there is a lot of reason of why I could be not thinking straight. But I am still frightened that I am sliding down a slippery slope.

I'm at work and I've spent most of the morning thinking about this (trying to type this out so it makes sense)here on this forum, and i'm really upset with myself because it is almost like i'm obsessing about the ocd itself. I can't focus on what I need to get done.

Does your mental health deteriorate or get worse with this disease? Can the ocd get worse?

Any feedback or words of comfort would be appreciated.

dollface

Yog-Sothoth · 06-10-2005, 12:09 PM

Try not to worry too much about this part of it. I know that's easy to say and hard to do, but I think all of us has worried this at one time or another. I've had bouts where my OCD gets really horrible and I think in equal parts that either something bad is going to happen (never clear what, but usually involving death) or that I'm going crazy. Heck, before I was told I had OCD (by a friend, but judging by the symptoms and everyone's experiences, I'm pretty sure I do have it pretty stronly and in a majorly bad way) when I first really described some of my "rituals," I realized how crazy they seemed.

Just do your very best to relax. Also, you might consider printing your post out and showing it to your therapist so you don't forget anything. I'm bad with that, too. I've always been forgetful when it comes to such important things. Just be sure to tell her all of this. =)