Reliving the past over and over - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

I_M_Scared · 06-09-2005, 09:06 PM

During times I am not actively obsessing or panicking, I beat myself up by trying to think back to anything that I may have done "wrong". Then, I precede to worry about it and wonder if I may have done something bad or wrong. If I zero in on a particular memory that I deem in my mind as a "bad" one, then I panic and obsess over it and that its "proof" I am a bad person destined to do horrible things. I know these are intusive thougths, but am I alone it torturing myself like this?
Its almost like, when I finally have some relief and the intrusive thoughts, fears and guilt have quieted, then I feel as though I am not allowed to feel this way and have to keep the mental anguish going by "going over" my life again.

Thanks for the help.
I am making the pdoc appt tomorrow.

Yog-Sothoth · 06-10-2005, 11:59 AM

Oh, you're definitely not alone! I do that all the time. Sometimes it'll make me almost shudder with embarassment or regret. And from listening to my mother talk sometimes, I've learned that she does much the same thing. You've just got to really, really force yourself to either let the past go (this is SO not easy, I know hehe) or just distract yourself with something comforting and enjoyable when those kinds of thoughts start coming on. Good luck!

hastrix · 06-11-2005, 09:02 AM

[FONT=Arial Black]

Hello,I Am Scared

Relax. Let me assure you that you will not be spending the rest of your life feeling the way you do now. Your life can improve dramatically

I'm speaking from experience; I was once as you are now.

There are 2 components of our problem:
1) OCD, a physiological disorder
2) self-hate, a psycho-spiritual disorder.

1) OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD)

OCD appears to be one of several disorders that result from too little serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter. OCD is treatable with medication. Some people wait 2-3 weeks before seeing any improvement. I was lucky; I got relief in less than an hour. I use 25mg Tofranil (Imipramine) and 100mg Zoloft (Sertaline). There are many drugs to treat OCD so don't worry if my drugs don't work for you. Tricyclic antidepressants and Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors are the two main classes of drugs that fight OCD. Chances are you'll be on one or more of these drugs for the rest of your life.

2)
SELF-HATE

The other component of our problem is self-hate. Self-hate is a form of hatred; it is caused by a lack of compassion. I no longer suffer from obsessive-compulsive self-hate and haven't suffered for over 10 years. Follow the procedures I outline below and follow them religiously and regardless of how foolish you may at first feel and you too will end OC self-hate.

I.
Allow yourself and others to make mistakes, big ones and little ones. There is no acceptable form of hatred; you may not even deride yourself for self-hate

II.
Practice forgiving and loving yourself and others. When you feel the urge to hate, repeat the following affirmations:

I forgive myself for everything.
I accept myself the way I am.
I love myself unconditionally.

Repeat these affirmations over and over again and they will grow on you. It will take a while, but you should begin to see results in 2-3 months, if you practice the affirmations diligently and take your medication.

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST AND WILL CHECK ON THIS SITE FROM TIME TO TIME TO SEE IF YOU HAVE REPLIED TO MY LETTER. ps PICK UP A COPY OF "THE PILL BOOK." ISBN: 0-553-58478-2 THE MORE YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR MEDS THE BETTER OFF YOU'LL BE. SIGNING OFF---NASTEE