Just wanted to know if your OCD effects your work or schoolwork? Does it effect your concentration and your overall performance on the job or at school? I just wanted to know because mine does and I'm wondering if I am in the minority here. I had a down day at work because it really got me down today. It slows my concentration down at work because I will start ruminating and the thoughts become worse and worse. When this happens I can't work at 100% effectiveness. I've always wanted to know how it effects others and how they cope with it at work or at school.
My OCD severely affects my job and school work, along with my social life and family life. But I also have the factors of depression, borderline personality disorder, social phobia, a slight agorophobia, and some other stuff to go with it.
My concentration levels are absolutely horrible. My working aptitude at my job has really slid. I have trouble concentrating at even the simplest task.
And from what I hear, a LOT of people, in fact the majority that I've talked to with OCD have the same problems....so you are not alone...trust me!
Yes, yes, yes, TakeThatOCD! I'm not trying to sound like an arrogant braggart here, but I honestly don't know how I managed to make straight "A's" every semester during high school! I'm deathly afraid of starting college this fall- my OCD's going on hyperdrive with that one! LOL! Here's why it affects my schoolwork: when I was 12, and the OCD was its most severe, I obviously had trouble getting work done because I was having obsessions non-stop. Now, I've found that it's mostly due to obsessional slowness and procrastination due to compulsive avoidance. I remember reading in Ian Osborne's fabulous "Tormenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals" that a person with obsessional slowness feels as if they have to "overcome a great inertia" in order to complete tasks. This is how I feel. It's as if I cannot start my homework until it "feels right," and I can't physically make myself get up from my bed, where I'm usually immobilized with a panic attack. This is usually only when I have to write essays. Essays make me nervous because it requires having to say something a "perfect" way and using the computer, which I hate because I'm always afraid that it will break down, run out of ink and/or paper, etc. Speeches are pretty much the same as essays- basically anything that requires writing, which doesn't make sense because I am a good writer. It's just the pressure and perfectionism, I guess. Last spring, around March, I actually stayed home from school for four days straight because I didn't do any of my homework. My meds needed increasing, and I was a neurotic mess. I literally had a breakdown one morning and begged my mother with tears streaming down my face to let me stay home. I don't often cry, so my mom knew it was bad. I just couldn't face school, and all of the worries that it provoked. I can't remember feeling like that since February of 2003. This was before I even suspected I had OCD, and I wasn't on medication, but this period of time is what prompted my mother to take me to the doctor to get some meds. Every day, I would dread getting out of bed, not because I was depressed, but because I was paralyzed with fear, and couldn't bear to leave my "safe zone." I prayed for a delay or cancellation, even if it hadn't snowed the previous night. It doesn't surprise me that this occurred because the past fall, I started to have obsessions, the same ones that had been absent since they mysteriously disappeared at age 13. It also affects my life in general. For example, I'm starting to gather together the stuff that I want to take to college, and it takes me HOURS just to sort through books that I want to take. I have an obsession about, "What if I forget something and home and I need it?" and "What if I throw this away, and I need it in the future?" so I painstakingly group and categorize things into piles, and become distracted by each individual book, skimming it to see if I should take it to college. Summer's the worst because I'm all by myself with nothing to do- great conditions for obsessions to hit. I'll get up at nine in the morning and not get my shower until three because again, just going downstairs requires a lot of willpower for me. That's why I've been writing so much on these boards- I've been literally spending hours typing on these, and I think it's just another compulsive avoidance thing: "As long as I keep my mind busy, I don't have to think about all of the things that I have to do." But, of course, this has become obsessive as well, as I have noted. It takes me such a long time to sign off of here because I'm constantly checking and re-checking to see if any new posts were created or if anybody responded to my posts. I check about 12 different boards, and if one has something new, another half hour goes by. I always check the OCD board last, so as I was perusing the boards in preparation for signing off, I saw your post, TakeThatOCD, and had to answer. Sorry that this is so long, but I had an absolute wretched day- paralyzed in front of the computer, and unable to get myself to do the things that I needed to do. The important thing though is that I'm not depressed; I blame it all on the OCD...
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
Thank you for your support. It is good to know that I am not in the minority. Today was a better day for the most part but I was on eggshells, in other words, I have gotten to the point where I am at times anticipating the thoughts. I try not to but I know they will be there. In in the process, I have to figure out how I will defeat those arguments and try to prove them irrelevent. I know I am not suppose to but I do. OCD at it's finest I guess. I was able to concentrate a little better today however, right now I feel OCD coming on again and it is very strong. I just hate the endless ruminating, the back and forth arguments, the counter arguments, the counter arguments to the counter arguments etc etc. It never stops. I absolutely hate OCD. You know the sad thing is these thoughts mean absolutely nothing. They are meaningless. Yet, It seems my life is at their mercy and it isn't. Religous obsessions between God and the Devil are the absolute worst especially when I know what the right answer is and that answer is GOD! Yet, it seems my brain has a hard time coming to that conculsion when it goes into OCD mode. Ridiculous thoughts as I call them. But it seems so real. I hate OCD. Good Luck to all in your battles against OCD and God Bless.
I know- religious OCD totally sucks. I do the "counter arguments," too. Like, I'll be watching a show or movie that has an actor I think is really hot, and all of a sudden, I'll see them in a different light. I can go for hours looking at their pictures, and seeing if I still think they're attractive. It's the same for TV shows. I'll watch one of my favorites, and I won't laugh as much, and that makes me jump to the conclusion- maybe I don't find it funny anymore. This is some of the stupid things I ruminate about...
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
Religous themes will trigger my obsessions anything with devil or demons will trigger terrible thoughts about loving the devil or some stupid thought that I will argue and then counter argue about how I do then I don't and how I love God instead or something along those lines. God always has to come out on top. Even though he already is. But I have to keep doing it until it "feels right" or I am satisfied. Then the thoughts come up in my mind in the form of a question, "come to me god or come to me satan" See then I am left to choose. Since I pick God everytime. It will ask me the same question over and over again. It is so ridiculous. And like a fool I keep answering the questions. I have to make sure I can answer God everytime. These stupid rituals. I think I have satanophobia which is the fear of the devil and demonophobia fear of demons. I looked it up online to see if there are such fears and there is. I looked at a huge list of all the phobias people have and discovered these two phobias apparently do exist. When I saw them I said...THAT'S IT!!! I knew they had to be there. Of course OCD doesn't help this but OCD is a loser anyway. It's all OCD and nothing more.
Yes it affects my work. I have a terrible OCD about talking to people, e-mailing, using the phone, things I have to do constantly in my job. Using the computer is terrible because I'll have to check a million times to make sure I didn't leave my computer on. I've come back to work and lied that I forgot something in my drawer but really it was to check to make sure I did everything right. I started writing it down on a piece of paper, nothing on the screen, so I know I shut everything down, but I find that hard to believe at times. I don't like to make calls unless the other girl in the office is there to hear me make sure I said everything right but that's hard to do and unfair to her. I've called out because I was freaking out so badly, and sometimes at work I can't concentrate and spend a lot of time staring out the window. I actually told my last job about my ocd because I was calling out a lot, going home early, etc. My boss was pretty cool about it, didn't really understand it but was supportive. On the opposite side, it makes me better at my job sometimes because I really pay attention to details, I don't forget things, I'm very careful, ect.
Yes, I understand what you mean about calling out. I don't do it at work but I do it at home. I grunt or make a loud noise when I feel a bad thought coming on or when I am having the bad thought so that I can interupt it somehow. I can also understand about making sure things are things are turned off when you leave. I was wondering do you have a new job now? Because you said on your last job your boss was ok with your OCD. The only reason I ask is because I was wondering if you do have a new job have you told your employer about your OCD and how are they handling it. See I am very interested in this subject on how employers and employees, students and teachers deal with this problem is the reason I ask. From my standpoint, I think that the public in general while knowing about OCD is very uninformed about it. I have talked to people who think people with OCD should "just stop thinking about terrible thoughts" and I am sure there are some who think that people with OCD are crazy and all kinds of other stereotypes. People who don't have it just don't understand it. I mean there are times when I don't even understand it and I have it. So I was just curious on how others cope with it in their everyday lives. Thanks.
I was wondering do you have a new job now? Because you said on your last job your boss was ok with your OCD.
No, but only because I left that job due to a move out of state. I have not told my current employer because there are people that understand and there are those I don't feel would. I work for a very small family owned business and while they are perfectly nice people, I doubt very much they would understand. Maybe that is not giving them the benefit of the doubt but you are right, this is something people do not understand as a general rule, even me and I have the darn thing!
oh and I meant calling out as I called out sick, so I didn't have to go in. Sorry about that.
Last edited by scaredycat1; 07-10-2005 at 07:22 AM.
Hi there i am new to the board. I have been struggling with Panic Disorder for a long time and more aniety now, but i am seeking councling and through this my axiety is due to OCD. I thought OCD was just washing hads, everything had to be in a certain order, but i was wrong. I am starting to find out what my obsessions are and that there are trigures and it severely interferes with my daily life activities. I have a fear of driving because of something happening to me, and or i recheck that nothing is wrong with what i am driving when i can, and the reason for this is that years ago i drove off with my son on the back of my truck, and it keeps haunting me. Another is that I have horrible images of something happeing like the brakes failing or one of my children getting hurt. I also obsess about my house smelling like something burning due to my kids playing fire all thier life, and the list goes on. My councler wants me to try Anafranil or paxil, i am obsessing about the side effects of both, although prozac in the past did not work, but then again we thought we wers treating something else. I cannot leave the house alone right now. Someone has to be with me so they can check things for me. My councler is trying Meditation also to calm me down, i think it is slowly helping, but she says we have to find a way to turn these thoughts around ugh, there are so many it seems hopeless but yet i am confident and hopeful we can do it. And even when i can drive alone i cannot go very far or drive on highways and only go were needed, i feel as though i will never get over this fear. Thank you,
Any suggestion on meds would maybe ease my mind?
ocd definitely affects my schoolwork. one person that it affected it in a positive way i do the same things as you do but they're so bad that it affects it negatively. i am always the last one done with my tests, homework most likely, etc. whenever i take a test it's like it's a huge huge effort just to take it whether i know the answers or not. or handwriting a long answer i have to make sure all the letters are neat. i'm usually always the slowest writer, yet as much as i try to make my letters neat many many many people say i'm the most sloppiest writer there is lol. i find that funny. i'm also extremely slow at reading because i'll have to reread the same thing over and over. going into sophomore year in highschool i am dreading because i already have a very negative attitude towards school and am trying really hard to reverse that; and school will also be harder than last year so that means it's going to be even harder to survive when my ocd kicks in trying to do everything perfect because i'll try even harder to do it perfect. sometimes i just wish i didnt' care about my schoolwork it would make things much easier and would leave me much less depressed about school in general.
going to this board does make me feel better because ocd depresses me. and when i come here...no offense to anyone...but i'll read other people's ocd problems and i'll find them most of the time being really ridiculous and i'll realize my ocd problems are just as bad if not even more stupid.
something else that stresses me out though is if i think ocd is bad or if it is good. if i had the chance to get rid of it would i or wouldn't i? and i'll go into great detail about it because one side of me hates ocd and would love to get rid of it and another side sees that everything happens for a reason and ocd is going to make sense and do something productive someday. so i'll really stress out on whether i should try to keep efforting to beat it or just let it take control of me. my mind kind of twists everything around though because i obviously shouldn't let it take control of me. that's one thing i hate though i can always see two sides of an argument so i never really know my true opinions about anything sometimes and i'll stress about that.
man i'm rambling again i could go on for hours about everything detail about my ocd. no matter what i always end up rambling on this board lol. i'm done now.
Just wanted to know if your OCD effects your work or schoolwork? Does it effect your concentration and your overall performance on the job or at school?
Yes! I was dianosed with OCD at 12 years old. I'm now 23 years old. I noticed I had trouble in high school with concentrating. I actually failed a few classes at the end of my freshman year. OCD tends to get worse when you have a lot of pressure or stress in your life. I guess entering into high school was a lot of pressure and stress on me. I remember stressing out the summer prior to my freshman year. I was so worried about my future. I thought you had to have it all figured out before you entered high school. Anways I ended up getting my GED about half-way through my sophmore year, due to teen pregnancy. Yes, I keeped the baby, he is a healthy 6 year old boy now. (since married and had another baby at age 21 ). Haven't really had any trouble with school until I entered into college. It was then when I realized something was wrong. I got help and was then diagnosed with ADD. Thats when I found out that ADD usually accompanies OCD. Some people with OCD have ADHD. My OCD also effects everything when it comes to concentration. I know now that it is part of my OCD. My ADD will effecte everything I do. From school, to work, even having a conversation with someone. Hang in there!!!