It's controlling my life!! - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

bluewaterangel · 09-01-2005, 07:29 AM

Hello everyone,
I am sure I am not the only one who has their OCD bad days right? Well this new fear has taken over me and I want to know if it is part of the OCD or if I am grieving improperly. My precious dog Allie past away 2 months ago because she had kidney and heart failure. This dog was my baby, my best friend, my companion. Also, they are talking about me having my large intestine taken out because of colonic inertia, and one of the side effects is death, more so for the surgery itself, not from the anesthetic. I cannot stop thinking about death and how awful it must be. Every where I turn, every where I am I think I am going to die (home alone, on a roller coaster, driving in a car, sleeping and my heart will stop) It is beginning to control my life.
I can't sleep at night because I think of everything awful that could happen to me and everyone else out there, I think of everyone dying each minute as I am laying on my bed. What is wrong with me???????????!!!!!!!!!!

seriousperson · 09-06-2005, 07:40 PM

The thought patterns are definitely what many (including my psychiatrist) call OCD, though for me it would be normal.
This is just a guess: in the past you would have your dog to comfort you, and now, well, you don't.
You have some very real reasons to be sad or frightened, and it just seems the OCD is amplifying it.
Do you use prescription medication?

bluewaterangel · 09-07-2005, 07:43 PM

Yes I am on Lexapro and geodon which my doctor prescribed to me 3 years ago. I have a feeling OCD is heightening the situation and is making matters worse. I have just been to cognitive behavioral therapy and they upped my lexapro by 10mg and Geodon by 20mg. I am feeling there is no hope for this problem.

seriousperson · 09-08-2005, 08:57 PM

Give yourself a little time, during which you could rechannel your obsession to something else. I realize this is just a coping mechanism, and not a cure, but maybe in desperate times it's not so bad to use our coping mechanisms, especially if we know what we are doing...?

Zoie97 · 09-08-2005, 09:13 PM

Hi Blue,
WoW, the death thought is my OCD, its not as bad as it was once, thanks to Prozac. I could not stop thinking of death, my death or friends and family, pets, strangers ect. I think for me it comes down to a fear of the unknown, being afraid to die, being afraid to die a really stupid way,the thought of not being "me" any longer. Not long ago I was going to take a short trip and was so conviced that I was going to die on the trip, I wrote out a will, and said good byes to loved ones in it. I tore it up when I got home, not dead!! Like you,(prior to Prozac) I think the situation was heightened OCD, as well as being severly depressed and a anxiety disorder. I think you should give the meds a chance to see if you get some relief. I'll take meds the rest of my life if thats what it takes to feel "better". Take care, feel free to ask me any qestions!