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Old 09-14-2005, 04:46 AM   #1
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Need some help

Hi People. I was diagnosed with OCD sometime last year. I still doubt I have it and question other things like schitzophrenia and insanity, me saying that probably just proves I have it. Doubting all the time. I've been having problems lately, and I want to know if anyone has experienced something similar. I played Texas-Hold-Em Cards on the computer for many hours the other day. And when I went to try to go to bed I could not get the thought of numbers out of my head. They were everywhere, randomly occuring in my thoughts. It was driving me nuts and causing me lot's of discomfort almost to the point of a panic attack. I just am wondering if anyone with OCD out there has had such a thing happen. Like perhaps being exposed to certain things for such a long time - our brains just mop it up like a sponge? And they just randomly come in. It's driving me nuts, and if anyone can offer some insight or advice, I would really appreciate it.

 
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:05 AM   #2
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Re: Need some help

Oh, yeah! I get this a lot, too, but it's almost always with textbooks. I have a photographic memory, and after studying, all I can see is the pages in my mind, and where certain information was in terms of columns and location. I can still see certain parts of my textbooks all the way back to 9th grade (I'm a college freshman, now). There's a scene in "The Aviator," where DiCaprio's very stressed out, and before talking to his engineer, he says, "Give me a second," and all these images of blueprints flash on the screen, and he puts his index finger on his temple and closes his eyes tightly, trying to get rid of the pictures- exactly how I am. Sometimes I have to clear my head of these pictures because they're literally all I can see. Another hinderance of this is regarding past reading- I seem to get stuck on very minute details, and I have to flip back to old chapters/sections to confirm what I remember reading. It's always stupid things that don't matter, never "big picture," conceptual ideas. For example, in the sixth Harry Potter book, Hermoine receives her O.W.L. results, and they say that she got a total of 11 O.W.L.'s. They list all of Harry's classes, and they're were nine. So, I figured that Hermoine's other two were Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, but then I realized that one of Harry's classes was Divination, which Hermoine dropped in the third book- what was that eleventh class? The only other class ever offered was Muggle Studies, so I'm guessing that this was it, but she also dropped it at the same time as Divination... Needless to say, I flipped through the rest of the book to see if they mentioned that elusive eleventh class, which they never did, unfortunately. Another example from that same book was that they said that the head of Ravenclaw was Flitwick, but I know, that I remember reading in the fourth book that it was Sinestra, the astronomy teacher...These are the stupid things that I must search for. Another common one for me is ages/names of siblings: like, if someone says they have six brothers and sisters, it drives me crazy if they only say four ages, so I make myself reason out where the other two belong, and flip through the book to find that age. Last book I can remember this happening in was Tess of the D'Urbervilles- Tess never did tell us the name/age of her one sibling... That's another thing- names! Cheaper by the Dozen- In chapter three, they list all of the kids' names, in descending order from oldest to youngest, but when I counted to see how many girls and boys, there were only eleven... The title implies that there were 12 children present, so I spent at least a half hour searching for that other child, and I found it, Mary, on the top of a page in chapter 13. Later, when I read the sequel, I found out on the very first page in a footnote that Mary had died of diphtheria in 1911 at the age of three. Still bothers me, even six years later that they couldn't tell you this in the first book, and more so, that the book is a sham- there weren't 12 kids! Mary was number 3, and she died so young, that she never was around! Come talk to me if you want to vent about the annoyances of OCD! God bless!
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Old 09-14-2005, 10:32 AM   #3
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Re: Need some help

yea listen to gatsby shes smart and she knows what shes talking about..

 
Old 09-14-2005, 10:52 AM   #4
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Re: Need some help

Thanks, bkm. I'm having a really bad OCD-day right now. I'm not made for dorm life- I feel suffocated by all of these people, and I can't get away. There's absolutely no schedule to adhere to- the food changes day by day, there's no real homework to do, just reading, and the classes are in a different order and time every day. I just feel so out of control- I need a routine to feel comforted. Whoever said that college was the "best years of your life" obviously wasn't an obsessive-compulsive... Why I loved high school- classes began and ended at the same time every day, I got up at the same time every day, I was in such-and-such area at exactly 10:55 am, I brought the same lunch and ate it in the same order, etc. Here, I'm so shaken (literally- my hands are really bad right now), and I don't have anything to cling to. I'm not homesick whatsoever- I just need the same things to happen every day and I need to be by myself. Unfortunately, I don't get either of these here. I don't know how I'm ging to get through seven more months of this; every day is torture. Even my close friends, who I told about my OCD, don't really believe me. I think they just think that I'm exaggerating. No one understands... Half the time, I have spouts of derealization, and I don't even know where I am or where I'm going. I have breaks between classes on MWF, so there's extra time to go back to the dorm and wait. Waiting makes me nervous; having to switch buildings and walk a long way makes me nervous; performing lab experiments make me nervous. Almost dropped a buret about twelve times today because my hands are shaking so badly. Don't know how I'm going to make a suture in physio psych lab Tuesday: how am I going to hold a needle and forceps when I can barely hold a pencil? Sorry, but I just had to rant while I get this rare opportunity to be by myself, but wouldn't you know it? Have a class at 1:30, and it's 12:50, so I'm already panicking about being prepared for my presentation and getting there on time and shutting the computer down, all while my muscles are frozen with fear... Write back soon. It helps to talk to those who understand how it is...
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:29 PM   #5
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Re: Need some help

wow gatsby when i tell my parents they tink i may be exaggerating also they feel im causing it to myself. i get the feeling i would relate to you very well. i was having all those same problems when i went too my community college. i understand and feel for you also. i am going to a nuerologist today and im hoping he can tell me something to ease me like this or that is wrong i dont know.. good luck and i enjoy hearing and reading your posts. i get frozen also it sucks i shut down myself.....bye gatsby

 
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