| | Obsession about being poisoned
My room mate/best freind and I have been living together for about 24 years. We are both males (but straight) and 99.9% of the time we have a wonderful and happy friendship. For the last 5-6 of those years, I have become paranoid about him putting something in my food even though I'm sure he would never do anything like that. I don't know how many times I have left the kitchen and a few minutes later returned to discover him stirring something I had been preparing for myself or fiddling with the microwave when I was heating a snack in it, etc. When I ask him what he is doing he always say's somthing like "well I was just checking on it for you" or "I did'nt want it to burn up on you" (even though it was far from being burned). Anyway, you get the idea.
To make matters worse, I suffer from really bad OCD/Depression/Anxiety (among other things) and I happen to watch a LOT of murder mysteries and crime documentaries and they are always showing some story where the wife/husband/roommate is secretly poisoning the food because they had an argument and wanted "revenge" or because they had taken out a life insurance policy on the person they were attempting to poison.
It has gotten to the point now where quite often, if I see him around my food, I will outright ask him if he did anything to it and then insist that he take a bite first (which he usually does just to humor me) and most of the time I don't eat second helpings because I always take my dinner into the bedroom and I can't see what's going on in the kitchen (where he is sitting at the table eating his dinner). When he brings me something (a coffee, coke or whatever) I always dump it out and then feel bad about it later but I just can't help myself because I am so paranoid and worried. I know this is all silly and sometimes I even scare myself because of this obscession I have over being poisoned. He's always telling me that I'm "nuts"...maybe he's right???.
As a perfect example, about 30 minutes ago I put some spagetti sauce in the microwave and got out 3 slices of bread and put it on a plate so I could have a snack this evening. Then, I went back into my bedroom (which is where my office is and where I spend 80% of my time). Just a minute or less after I had gotten back there I heard noises in the kitchen and so I rushed into the kitchen and discovered him sitting down on the sofa (our kitchen and living room are open/connected) and so I got really angry because I did'nt know if he had tried to put something in my food because I had'nt been there when he got up and went into the kitchen. I put EVERYTHING back in the fridge and slammed the door and he said in a suprized voice "what's wrong with you???". So I told him that I was upset (but I used a much stronger word) and explained to him why I felt this way and he was like "well what did I do wrong?" and that's when I told him about my paranoia over being poisoned and since he had heard it a million times before he just sort of shrugged it off and got mad at me because he was in the middle of a movie and he told me that he had just gotten up to get a soda during the commercial break.
The fact that I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and have violent cramps and diarrhea after eating sometimes freaks me out really bad too because sometimes I'll think I've just been poisoned when common sense tells me it's really the IBS (and not "poison").
Does anyone else here have a problem with this (ie; paranoid that someone is messing around with your food)?. I hate feeling like this and I also feel like it's affecting our friendship and the whole "trust" issue.
- Thank's, Lonely Traveler
Last edited by LonelyTraveler; 10-20-2005 at 07:51 PM.