High Self-Awareness Prevents Sleep Onset? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Vansen · 01-14-2006, 11:08 PM

I have a problem of self-awareness while trying to get to sleep, where i become aware of my breathing[controlling it, either exhaling too much or too little], of the saliva in my mouth[swallowing the secretions], and of my consciousness[monitoring it]. As soon as i begin to drift off to sleep i am suddenly alerted by my self-awareness that i have slackened off and become restful. This is FAR from a small problem! It's all i think about in my daily life, always anxious and always dead tired because of it. It's the most awful, overwhelming, and inescapeable feeling when you're dead tired but can almost NEVER SLEEP because you are suffering with a MADNESS like this. I am kept up days upon days at a time because of this awful condition, even recently hospitalized in ICU because of it. Obviously, i only very rarely progress beyond stage 1 of sleep. The medicine i have been prescribed isn't helping a bit. Anyone know whether this dreadful thing i suffer with is OCD, or even related to it? Is there hope at all?

frosty4 · 01-15-2006, 07:07 AM

HI- I can somewhat relate- I am hyperaware of my body which interferes with sleep sometimes- It could be ocd. I would recommend talking to a doctor- in the meantime try to distract yourself and ignore the awareness. Dont push it away, just refocus. I try to meditate (focus on word when inhale and exhale) and picture a pretty scene. You will be OK- There is hope and I understand.

Amanda

Vansen · 01-15-2006, 12:44 PM

Hi, frosty4,

Thanks for the advice and i will try it soon. Anyway, seeing to a doctor or visting a hostpital is of no use really because i've gone more times than i can count and still have not gotten a straight answer about what exactly my condition is or how i can control. I take Zyprexa antipsychotic meds which only make me hungry and cause me to gain weight, not help with the disorder. I appreciate the response. Thanks Again.

simplyj · 01-15-2006, 07:36 PM

Hi Vansen,

I'm not sure if what you're experiencing is OCD or not but I've had similar problems in the past (although not as severe as you've described) falling asleep. I call it "mind chatter". I'm not focused on being self aware but my mind wants to constantly be thinking about thinking and so I've stayed up entire nights. What I learned to do was to use imagery to lull myself into sleep. For instance, I created an imaginery house that is huge and has lots o f rooms with beautiful furniture etc. When I have trouble sleeping because my mind wants to focus on OCD stuff, I think of the beautiful house and go through each room creating details like curtains, furniture, rugs etc. I keep my mind occupied until I finally fall asleep. It may sound completely stupid but it does work for me. I sometimes think about gardens too. My point is, think of something creative you like to do, if it's music, think of some lyrics, if it's painting, paint a mural. We all have some part of us that is creative. Think of what you have that is creative and create a mindscape of it. If your a guy, maybe you like motorcycles, so build the Harley of your dreams piece by piece. You can actually use the self awareness to help you in your mindscape. For example, you mentioned you're aware of your breathing so in your mindscape, you could be riding a bike cross country, create the scenery and when your mind goes back to being aware of the breathing, it becomes part of the exercise so your not fighting it. What you resist... persists so it's not about making yourself not think about yourself, it's about including other things into your thought process and creating a comfortable place in your mind to go to when the self awareness interferes with your sleep. I hope this suggestion helps. By the way...there is ALWAYS hope so hang in there as best as you can until things get better because they eventually will.

All the best,

simplyj

Vansen · 01-15-2006, 08:56 PM

Hello, simplyj

Thank you for your suggestion and posting. The trouble is, my mind usually becomes so stubbournly locked into this *madness* that there is sincerely nothing that'll work. I think i may have an underlying fear of drifting off to sleep which makes everything all the worse. I'm also an almost incessant sufferer of acute anxiety)_: Thanks again for your imput (-: