Fear of hitting a person with my car - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Sillygrl · 01-30-2006, 08:07 PM

Hi all. I have OCD and recenty I stopped taking my meds. I was taking 20 mg of Prozac for about a year and I decided to stop because I felt they were really not working much (I still had my bothersome intrusive thoughts), but boy was I wrong. I have new obsessions and compulsions. Since I stopped taking them I have been worrying that every little bump in the road while driving is a person. I have a huge fear that I hit someone or will on accident. I will go back and look if I can to make double sure it was not a person. Tonight it was rainy and I was in a hurry to get to my school's bookstore. As I turned a corner I felt like I went over a bump (specifically the feeling of going over a pothole). I tried to keep telling myself that I did not see anyone (although it was not the easiest to see very clearly due to the rain). I also did not feel hitting anything. I felt it in my tire. I looked back and I was pretty sure I did not see anything, but like I said it was kinda hard to see. This was on a corner of a busy highway and a street. When I got home I even called the highway patrol to ask if there had been any pedestrians hit by a car and they said no. This is how it goes. It is driving me crazy. Any bump and I worry it was a person. When I try to rationalize it out, my mind does the "what-ifs". What if it was a person? What if no one finds this person and they die? What if I never know I hit someone with my car and how can I live with that? Does anyone at all have this same fear? If so what do you do? How do you make 100% sure you never hit someone, because my brain does not do 100%. With all the facts: Pretty sure didnt feel someone, pretty sure didnt see someone, called highway patrol, etc. I will still have the what ifs. Like, because it was on the corner of a highway and a street, maybe the highway patrol does not know about it (the bump was more on the street, not the highway). It is driving me crazy. My bf is pretty helpful and he tells me I will KNOW for SURE if I ever hit a person in my car. He has even offered to have me hit a garbage can or something with my car to see how it would feel. I just dont know what to do. I really wanted to get off my pills, but I will probably have to get back on them. I cant wait until the paper comes out to look to see if there were any hit and runs. I hate that I have to feel like this everyday.
I am sorry this is long, but I also have this huge fear of AIDS and germs. I work in a daycare and oh man, when a child gets a bloody nose, I will worry I got blood on me for like an hour and then I will usually calm down. I am washing my hands like crazy. I did this when I was in 4th grade and never again until now. Can someone give some kind of advice or any words on my situation?

starznmyeyes · 01-30-2006, 08:31 PM

Hi Sillygrl,

I can definitely feel your pain. I don't worry about hitting pedestrians but I do worry about other things and I can tell you that what I usually do is exactly what you do -- go to whatever lengths it takes to calm myself down and reassure that everything is ok. How did you feel after you talked with the state patrol? Did that calm your fears? I've had some CBT so I try to use the methods I learned but if the thoughts are still consuming me I will just do whatever it takes because it isn't worth ruining my entire day over. In the meantime, you should seek some therapy so you can learn how to handle these situations in the future, maybe look into some meds as well. Also, read "Brain Lock". I use his methods every day and it has really helped me get a handle on what's going on.

garylovesnadja · 01-30-2006, 08:43 PM

This may not be what you want to hear, but you need to get with a psychiatrist who will be able to work with you on getting a medication that will help you...there are many besides prozac,and not all of them have horrific side effects. As you probably know, OCD has been called a hiccup in the brain. You literally won't be able to think your way out of this,as the thinking process itself is what has been compromised; kind of like trying to inquire into the nature of a dream while you are dreaming. After the right medication has addressed the compulsive and intrusive thoughts, then one on one therapy with a skilled therapist will help you to let go of the coping behaviors you learned to employ when afflicted with this, but are no longer serving you. I wish you health and peace of mind!

daftthing · 02-01-2006, 07:24 AM

I understand how that feels, kinda. I've never even had a driving lesson because of it.

dgold · 02-08-2006, 07:16 PM

to Sillygirl,
I understand 100 percent I have similar problems but not related to car.
Get back on your prozac even 20 mg a day will help alot. You may want to get to 40 mg a day for more help.

For Behavoral therapy, the next time you have the thoughts undercontrol and feel relaxed try this. Purposley, visualize and think these thoughts. STart off slow and work your way up to more gruesome images and thoughts. STart out with you just driving at peace on a warm sunny day. then gradually pretend you hit an insect or animal to finally a human. if the anxiety gets too strong then deshift to less intrusive thoughts. Try this daily for 15-50 min.
This will set off your OCD which is the point and will allow you to accept these thougths and teach your brain to take them as what they are. False thoughts.
This is called habibuation.