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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 03-16-2006, 06:00 PM   #1
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turner HB User
Please help - Am I an attention seeker

I have been waiting almost a year to get an assessment from a clinical psychologist as to my need for CBT.

I had the first part of the assessment last week, and the second part is next week. I was very nervous and was terrified that she would regard me as an attention seeker. Since that day my obsession with cutting my hair to achieve symmetry has been much worse - almost as if I am punishing myself for seeking help. I have had this obsession with my hair for years and as it has got so bad in the last year or two I decided to seek help, as it not only effects me but my husband and daughter in taking a lot of my time away from them and doing housework.

My parents made me feel like I was an attention seeker as a child, because I would cry a lot when teased by my brother. My father would then tease me for crying and seemed to gain some morbid pleasure in seeing me cry more. The tears were genuine. Is this where the feeling of being an attention seeker comes from, or am I really an attention seeker? I have had many obsessions in life and the hair cutting thing is just one of them. I am absolutely terrified really of asking this question as if the answer is yes, I will probably want to punish myself in some way. But I have to know.

Well I can't cut anymore hair off as last night, after purchasing a new wig at the weekend, I removed all the hair off my head with hair removal cream. I'm that desperate to stop cutting it, I thought that if I did this I won't be constantly checking in the mirror or touching it my hair to check whether it is even or not. A bit drastic I know, and I feel a bit freaky for it, but I have a nice wig. I cut my last wig to pieces, but I have learnt my lessen as I was totally panic stricken afterwards and at least feel a bit more normal now that I have a nice new one.

 
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Old 03-19-2006, 03:20 PM   #2
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hry33 HB Userhry33 HB User
Re: Please help - Am I an attention seeker

go to your local library and ask about self help books for overcoming OCD, lots of useful info and advice in them

OCD is from anxiety so learning new ways of relaxing and calming yourself will help a lot

dont worry about going back thru your past looking for causes of your problems, I dont think attention seeking is involved

antidepressant meds often help a lot for OCD
__________________
Life is not a dress rehearsal

 
Old 03-20-2006, 05:38 PM   #3
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turner HB User
Re: Please help - Am I an attention seeker

Thanks Hry33

I think I will feel a lot better once I have had my second assessment and some kind of diagnosis. I have bought a self-help book recently, but I haven't read much of it yet as I would rather get an expert opinion before reading it. It's also difficult finding the time and concentration to read it.

Many thanks for replying.

Regards

Sweetie x

 
Old 10-10-2006, 09:42 PM   #4
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ttfmwbh HB User
Re: Please help - Am I an attention seeker

Hi to Turner and to all hair cutters.
I noticed your last posting was in March. How are you doing?
I am also a fellow obsessive hair cutter. I have been suffering with this dreaded condition for 18 years now. Currently my hair is about 1/2 inch long and am wearing a wig. I shaved it to give myself some relief but it never really gives me total relief for very long. I have tried all of the suggested medications but have such a difficult time with the side effects. None of them really worked for me. How about you? Now with the holidays coming the stress usually makes my Ocd even worse. Hope I hear from you as I would like to talk to you.

 
Old 10-11-2006, 02:29 AM   #5
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turner HB User
Re: Please help - Am I an attention seeker

Hi there,

Thanks for posting. I started CBT in April and have just had my last appointment with the psychologist yesterday. It's been a very turbulent few months emotionally. I found it really hard going and challenging with the talking therapy. My hair cutting obsession improved for a little while but I started again and couldn't stop. My hair is probably about half an inch long too now, having spent 5 or 6 hours a day trying to get it right.

One good thing that came out of therapy was keeping a positives diary, writing 3 things down each day that I have done that are positive. It was working quite well until everyday stresses crept in - like falling out with a friend and family problems. In the end I couldn't believe that I was telling the truth about even having a problem and the anxiety from that and thinking that I am attention seeking made me feel even worse.

I will still be seeing the psychiatrist for medication and have an appointment on Friday.

I'm sorry to hear of your suffering too with this obsession. It really eats at your self esteem doesn't it? That's what I find anyway.

Good to hear from you and hope you will get in touch if you feel like you would like to again.

Best Wishes

xx

 
Old 10-12-2006, 12:11 AM   #6
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ttfmwbh HB User
Re: Please help - Am I an attention seeker

Oh it's good to hear from you! I really related to you after reading some of your postings. I'm sorry about the problems your facing with family and your friend. Life is tuff and having OCD just compounds it. I have been having some really difficult family issues myself but there have been some improvments recently.
This affliction makes you feel very alone at times and it's nice to talk with someone who can relate. Have you ever asked yourself how on earth did I ever get started with this cutting hair obsession? I can hardly remember what it was like before I developed it. Right now I work part time and when I go out I wear a wig and at home I wear a bandana and totally avoid the mirror unless I'm putting my make up on to go to work. I have a dimmer switch on the light because it helps me to not focus on what is not right with my hair or wig for that matter. I am going to wait until March before I take the wig off and then I'll see what I have as far as length and then I will once again try to let some one else style it and then just leave it alone. In the meantime I have signed up for some CBT group sessions and I'll see if I can gain some tools to deal with this. Haven't found a medication yet that I can tolerate.
We can never give up. We have to hold on to hope!

 
Old 10-13-2006, 03:32 PM   #7
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turner HB User
Re: Please help - Am I an attention seeker

Hi ttfmwbh

It's good to hear from you too. I do feel very alone with this problem too at times. It doesn't appear to be very common. I wouldn't wish it on anybody though. I feel like I've wasted much of my life due to this and other obsessions. It just gets to a point sometimes where you've had enough. That's how I have been feeling lately.

I work part time also for 15 hours a week in an office. I am not wearing a wig at the moment but if it gets any shorter I will have to. In a way, I wish I had left my wig on because I feel under pressure to not get that bad again and the fear of getting that bad is aggravating it. It's all a vicious cycle. That sounds like a good idea with the dimmer switch on your light. I wish I could go to some CBT group sessions. But I haven't been told about the availability of any such thing. I live in Dover, South East England. Where do you live, if you don't mind my asking?

Feel free to send me an email if you would ever like to. My address is

[email]lindajaneturner@yahoo.co.uk[/email]

It's good to hear from someone you can relate to. Thanks for replying. It would be good to keep in touch and hear how you are doing.

Take care.

Linda

 
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