Recently this has been rather bad. Today for example, I brought a lean cuisine frozen chicken/rice meal for lunch. I kept having the feeling "i'll get sick if i eat this, i shouldnt eat this" etc. Rationally I'm saying to myself theres prob little chance of getting food poisoning from a frozen meal, but I had to talk myself into going to heat it up in the microwave at work. It's 320 and i'm just NOW eating lunch b/c it took me so long to get the courage to heat it up. And now i'm paranoid to even try eating it. It is still sitting in the microwave...
I'm obsessed w/ expiration dates, and so on. Often I find myself throwing things out b/c in the middle of eating them I'll decide theyre "bad" and throw them away. Or i just get a bad feeling about it. I can never tell if it's just instinct to not eat something b/c there really IS something wrong.....or it's just my OCD. Ugh
Im 17. You sound very much like me. I am the very same. I am forever checking the food that i eat. If i have chicken then i will check every single peice to make sure that it is cooked. For example when i got home from the stables my mum had orered my a chinse. and i just thought "oh my gosh no i cant eat that what if there food makes me ill" and i sat down with my plate and thought "what do i do" and i sat there checking every bit of chiken. and i just kept getting this feeling in my head saying "no dont eat this, it wil make u ill" and of course i gave in and just left the chicken and just ate the chips.
You see the thing is i have a fear of throwing up. I get so scared. every time i go to bed i think "will i be sick" and it has really took over my life i dont no how i am going to cope with it.
Throwing up isnt my issue, just general fear of getting sick. But I know what you mean. i did the same thing yesterday...finally ended up eating the meal, but just picked out the rice and left the chicken. I was too scared to eat it for fear i'd get sick I guess it's a step that I ate it at all. Usually i'd just throw it away.
Btw, I heard about fear of throwing up.
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The following user gives a hug of support to daisy51: kmztoy (11-04-2010)
Please hear me out...i had this exact same problem and it turned into full blown ocd about everything!! first off one of my hugest fears is vomiting and usually we can control that especially with food right? but sometimes we get irrational.i thought i was the only one who went through this lol!! but i see now im not. so it got to the point that when i went to friends houses i would inspect things and it got to be an inside joke but they really were good to me about it and would say look we washed this well or just bought it today. i always checked their expery dates cause i knew mine at home were ok but not theres. no anyways i wouldnt eat devilled eggs caused the girls house wasnt that clean and i thought theres a chance...i wouldnt eat something she made with burger even though it looked so darn good everyone else there ate it and they were fine! restaurants were hell! i would throw anything away i thought wasnt good even though it prob was but ive always been funny about how long i keep food in my fridge anyways. anyway this paranoia then went onto dentists and my health and everything else!! it was really bad. so i started meds again and now i can eat just about anything! i cant say when or what did it but i slowly stopped obssessing about it and eventually said screw this im not going to let it rule my life. even though i still have my fears specially vomiting, i try not to think about it, well my brain it seems doesnt allow me i am taking celexa and it worked wonders for me. u should go get some help before it rules ur life like it did mine.
I am in a similar boat although my fear is choking.
I've been scared of getting food stuck in my throat or chocking for the past 3 years now. I got food stuck in my throat and when I went to the hospital, they didn't believe me because I wasn't chocking. They only started believing there was something wrong when I've been in that state for more than 72 hours...And because of that, I developed a fear of chocking so I am obsessed with how I eat and chew. I can't even swallow a pill...I have to break it! And there are tons of things I just won't eat anymore...hopefully with time it will get better!
ugh daisy that must be rough! i can totally understand though how ud get that fear the way u did. i had something similar. i didnt care about dentists till 4 yrs and had a horrible experince that nearly ruined my mental state. since then ive only gone 1 time and i had to talk myself into that for 2 yrs and obssessed and dreaded it nearly everyday took some good meds then finally went and i turned out ok. i still think about it and dread it but i faced it and its just something over time we start to get over. good luck though.
I can totally relate... I have been dealing with the irrational thought of getting sick from food for a while now. I find myself checking expiration dates of foods and sniffing to makes sure everything smells ok. Grocery shopping has become quite a task since I examine every item (checking boxes to make sure there are no holes in them or to make sure the packaging hasn't been ripped and looks ok) I don't really go out to eat anymore since I worry about who was cooking my food and I don't like not knowing everything that has been put into it. I have begun to avoid many foods, and have lost a ton of weight from this. I have recently begun seeing a behavioral therapist to try to overcome my ocd. I feel like it has really begun to effect my quality of life. Good luck to everyone dealing with this!
Fear of food being poisioned and dangerous to eat is a common symptoms of OCD, a contamination issue that needs to be treated with ERP. I have two very good friends who both suffered with this symptom, to great extremes for years. Each of them only ate two things for years. Both have been through ERP and both have recovered. You can do it too!!!
ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) is a type of CBT (cognitive behavior therapy specifically for OCD. CBT is the more common therapy now, vs psychoanalysis, and it is used to treat lots of disorders, but they type of CBT done varies depending on the diagnosis it is being used to treat.
There is lots of information on ERP on the internet, I would recommend you start at the OC Foundation which is loaded with information on OCD and treatment. It is really important to learn about and understand what ERP is and how it works for two reasons. You will do better in treatment and also to make sure the therapist you are seeing for ERP is really trained in and doing ERP.
All of your messages have been very encouraging. Sometimes I thought I was the only one going through this or I was crazy. It's good to know that other ppl experience the same thing. I'm looking into a therapist but since I'm changing jobs I have to wait for my new insurance to start up. I def want to try the ERP.
In the meantime I bought a book about OCD and it's helping already. I've been able to choose glasses/silverware w/out fear I'll be contaminated (every once in a while i have an incident, for the most part I'm doing a LOT better). Food is not as easy, but I'm getting better. Before it would get to the point where I just wouldn't eat b/c nothing fit the "requirements" I had and I would convince myself everything was bad, I'd get sick, I'd be poisoned...so I'd just go hungry I'm still on the "use by" patrol though...lol. I throw things away if theyre even one day before the "use by" date.
The following user gives a hug of support to daisy51: kmztoy (11-04-2010)