OCD spike while holding my cousin - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Kris03 · 06-17-2006, 04:01 PM

Today at a party at my house i was holding my 1 year old cousin and i kept tapping her bottom playfully and swingfing her around, well then my OCD kicked in and i had a nasty thought in my mind then i playfully spanked her and joked that she was being fresh when i had that thought, it was like an urge to tap her buttom again that i did to make sure and reassure myself that tapping her buttom was cuz i was playing with her and NOT doing anything innaprroriate cuz i know i wasn;y doing anyhting innnaprioate...but and now i'm all worried, *sighs* i really hate this, now i question everything and think i'm a sick person! I can't even hold kids or chage babies diapers cuz of this OCD.

rastarose5 · 06-17-2006, 07:20 PM

hey there, i read your post and i can totally relate how you feel

it really can have a huge effect on things that used to be so " normal" and just twists it all around to make us think we are sick people, and the hard part is that we start questioning our morality because of it .. I recently had a revelation about my ocd , that i need to start just being neutral about them instead of allowing them to strike anxiety into my head and heart.. which i know can be easier said then done expecially with some of my morbid obsessions or thoughts that repeat over and over again non sense like that says " kill your mom" or if i killed her then the thoughts of killing her would stop! that was the worst one.. and of course i would kill my own self before i would ever do somethin like that.. but i realize that these are just thoughts and that i really need to just stop letting them make me feel anxious about them which takes practice but it seems to be helping me ... and instead of fighting them off just let them be and not put myself down if they do come back to try not to let it make me feel like a failure in my battle against OCD
hang in there, lots of luv,, peace:X

I_M_Scared · 07-01-2006, 07:58 PM

I can sympathize. I have always excessively worried and had intrusive thoughts. But it has only been the last year that the fear of molestation has seized me. In fact, it wasn't until this happened that I thought to get any help.

The other day, my friends and I were at an out door event. My one friend's 2 year old made a mess out of herself with food. I had to go to the bathroom-so I offered to take her daughter with me and clean her up. She said that was okay, don't worry about it. Now, this is my best friend in the whole world and I have confided this entire ordeal to her. She even told me (repeatedly) that she trusts me and knows this is just OCD and not my intent. (she is studying to be a social worker, guess that is a pluc)

Well, for 2 days I obsessed that she was actually afraid to let me be alone with her daughter. I confided this as well and she laughed and said I was a big dork

(our pet names for each other during our "duh" moments).

I felt better that I was able to get rid of this obsession. But, I still fear for the rest of my life that I will always have guilt and fearful images.

I take 50mg Zoloft and feel pretty good with it. I will not see a pdoc for about 3 more months. I am getting ready to move and I am going to wait so that I can get a pdoc in my new town.

Thanks.