Is this ocd? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

lorakaye85 · 06-30-2006, 10:26 PM

I'm new here, and I have a question. For the past year I have had a problem. I got this idea in my head that my future to be mother in law dosen't like me. I don't know why because she is always nice to me. Anyway, ever since then I have been obsessing over it. I would constantly think about it day and night-does she hate me? Did I do something to make her mad? Is she trying to get to me? It even got to the point that I went to phsycics about it! I do that with other things, too. Last night when I went to bed I couldn't fall asleep because I was afraid that my cat was going to kill my guinea pig. I supressed the urge to check on him. I seem to do this with a lot of things. I was convinced that I was going to be killed or hurt in some way by a guy that had a crush on me even though he never even got close to me. He came into the store where I worked.I got scared and nervous when he came in. Last month I got it in my head that my co worker is jealous of me. I scrutinize her every move and I'm convinced she has hidden motives. I even drove by her house a few times for no reason. It's embarassing, what if she saw me??I get something in my head and it's like my mind is stuck and it keeps playing over and over to the point if I don't try and stop it I feel like it's consuming me. It seems stupid even to me that I constantly think about things. I'm embarassed to see my family because thats all I talk about. (whatever I'm obsessing about at the time.) I'm now convinced that somethings not right, wether it's ocd or something else. I don't have "rituals" though. If I found some ritual to alleviate the problem(besides smoking constantly) I would do it. I almost wish I had ocd just so I would know what's wrong. Could this be the pure o form of ocd? I dont have thoughts that scare me, I just analze things over and over and over and over untill I get frustrated. I would like to know what's wrong but I don't know if I should go to a doctor about it because it's not interupting my daily life. I feel like I can deal with it, but at times I get so so tierd of feeling this way. For the past two days I have been obsessing about if I have ocd or not and what people would think if i did. I felt anxious all day at work and I feel lkie I might go nuts. "Then I think- "what if I'm just blowing it out of porportion?" I told someone at work about how I cant get things out of my head and he said to relax and do something I enjoy.I can't! My thoughts are consumed with different situations, are my parents going to die? was it my fault my cat died(a year ago). Normal people don't analyze everything to death over and over. Well, I will shut up now. Thanks!

JAZ87 · 06-30-2006, 11:04 PM

I'm the same way... You could possibly have slight ocd.... Just from the symptoms you mentioned. If it's not bothering you it's okay, but you may want to talk to a doctor for a little peace of mind.
I was recently diagnosed with slight ocd, and yes I do many of the same things you do! I don't really have any rituals either, lol except one with praying! just like you mentioned! haha i have nooo idea why?!?! It started when I was like 8...
I don't think it's anything to worry about, but there is help if you decide to see a doctor. Otherwise if it really doesn't bother you, i suppose it's okay..I would stop worrying about what others will think though, and just go ahead and go to the dr! you'll feel much better!
jaz

lorakaye85 · 06-30-2006, 11:16 PM

Thanks for repliying! Some of my other symptoms are:
1 I have this irrational fear that if I spend money my fiance will be mad at me. Even if it was like a dollar. (has never happened before)
2 I have to pronunciate j-e-s-u-s or god won't hear my prayers
3 Impulsive shopping. When I buy something it makes me feel better for a while, but only to lead to guilt. It got so bad that I was going to give my fiance the checkbook and credit card.
4 I had to stop exercising because I would weigh myself six times or more a day and everytime I passed a mirror I would obsess over wether or not my stomach was getting bigger. Especially if I ate or drank something.
5 guilt and shame that isn't brought on by anything
6 thought of men doing violent sexual acts to me (when I am trying to go to sleep) and I enjoy the thoughts

what do you think?

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 07-01-2006, 09:15 AM

If it was true OCD, the sexual thoughts would NOT be enjoyable. They would cause you great disgust, shame, and embarrassment, and you'd probably pray so you wouldn't feel "filthy." I'd say you have some obsessiveness, but I wouldn't say it's OCD because of the enjoyment of the sexual thoughts. Intense fear and anxiety define OCD, not repetition or habits.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

206michele · 07-03-2006, 08:14 PM

I'm really sorry about all the turmoil you seem to be having. I suffer from OCD and have done a lot of research about the disorder over the last 15 years. It is sometimes termed as the "doubting disease" or the "perfectionist disorder". I think everyone that suffers from this affliction has different problems depending on what actually causes them anxiety. I tend to do things such as cleaning or whatever and then doubt I did it right and keep going back to check it for accuracy. If I don't I get extremely anxious. I take a drug called Luvox for this and it really helps. I also have extreme worry and dread sometimes about irrational things. I know in my mind that I shouldn't even be worrying about it but I cannot control the anxiety that comes with these obsessions. It can be very upsetting at times. I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed which gave me a lot of relief to find out what was happening to me. At least then, I felt like I had something to work with. I think the unknown can be really scary. Keep in touch and I really do understand.