Obsessed with a friend - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

gotitbad · 07-02-2006, 03:17 PM

This is the first time I have posted to this board. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I after the birth of my twins 9 years ago and a post partum psychosis that let to a suicide attempt. The reason I'm here is because I have had a problem since I was a teenager (I'm now 40) with becoming OVERLY concerned, needing attention from and constantly thinking about a friend. This happened in high school with a girl friend of mine, then in college and in my twenties with a boy friend who I dated for 4 years and untimately broke up with me but we stayed freinds, then with another friend for about 10 years who I met in the neighborhood where I was living and most recently for the last two years with a friend I met on a trip who lives out of town. Irronically, I never obsessed over my husband who I have know for 20 years or any of my other friends or family. Just one person at a time and I'm not sure why these specific people. I literally can't stop thinking about the pereson and wishing we were spending time together. I wait for their calls and e-mails. If I don't hear from them when I am expecting to I get VERY upset and in a bad mood until we connect. It is almost like a drug for me. I don't know how to break this pattern. I hide these thoughts from everyone I know including the person and try to act normal. But inside I can't stop the thinking and aching for attention from the person. I crave to know everything about them. There is nothing sexual about this, it is all just on a friendship level. Has anyone felt like this or heard of this? Please help!!!

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 07-02-2006, 04:22 PM

The craving for attention along with the obsession has tones of Borderline Personality Disorder in it (BPD). The symptoms of BPD and bipolar disorder often overlap, and some people do have both disorders. Obsessing over attention isn't usually a symptom of OCD, but I personally have the times when I can't stop thinking about one of my obsessive fixations, usually a TV show, movie, or some area of academia, and I need to know every minute detail about it. I actually will get a panic attack if I don't pursue the fixation. I have a feeling this is from my Asperger's, but I'm not sure. Anyway, the moods and the attention aspect of it does sound like it could be mild BPD. Lots of people with BPD are treated with mood stabilizers, which I'm assuming you're on for your bipolar I, but since it's a personality disorder, it can't be treated very effectively. By any chance, are you jealous, suspicious, or possessive when your friend doesn't call you or doesn't get back to you when you expect? If so, then that would signal BPD much more so. Good luck, God bless, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

-GatsbyLuvr1920-

gotitbad · 07-02-2006, 07:21 PM

Thanks for the response. I just feel hurt and rejected. I feel like they don't care about me very much. It makes me very sad and sometimes angry. Where can I learn more about BPD? You seem to be very informed. Thanks in advance.

GatsbyLuvr1920 · 07-02-2006, 10:04 PM

The people on the Personality Disorder Board will probably be able to help you the most; the vast majority of the posts on there are about BPD. I'll admit that I don't know as much about BPD as I do about other areas of psychiatry, but that sounds like the best place to go to start. rosequartz is pretty much the resident expert on BPD, and I just checked over there, and she has a very nice description of the disorder. I wish you the best, and I'm always here if you want to talk!

-GatsbyLuvr1920-