gotitbad

Obsessions:

A FRIEND: I have had a problem since I was a teenager (I'm now 40) with becoming OVERLY concerned, needing attention from and constantly thinking about a friend. This happened in high school with a girlfriend of mine, then in college and in my twenties with a boyfriend who I dated for 4 years and untimately broke up with me but we stayed freinds, then with another friend for about 10 years who I met in the neighborhood where I was living and most recently for the last two years with a friend I met on a trip who lives out of town. Irronically, I never obsessed over my husband who I have know for 20 years or any of my other friends or family. Just one person at a time and I'm not sure why these specific people. I literally can't stop thinking about the person and wishing we were spending time together. I wait for their calls and e-mails. If I don't hear from them when I am expecting to I get VERY upset and in a bad mood until we connect. It is almost like a drug for me. I don't know how to break this pattern. I hide these thoughts from everyone I know including the person and try to act normal. But inside I can't stop the thinking and aching for attention from the person. I crave to know everything about them. There is nothing sexual about this, it is all just on a friendship level. Has anyone felt like this or heard of this? Please help!!!

DYING YOUNG: I'm constantly worried about dying young, usually either of a sudden heat attack, suicide or car accident and leaving my 3 little kids without a mom.

GOING BROKE, HOMELESS AND STARVING: I obsess all day every day about what I will do when I am too depressed and obsessed with bad thoughts and disabled to work. I will use up all my money, have to live on the street with my kids, and starve to death! Even though I have a loving family and some friends, I always picture myself alone with nobody caring about me.

NOBODY REALLY LIKES ME: I always think nobody really likes me, my friends are just staying friends with me out of obligation and worry that without their support I will kill myself. I feel like the black sheep of my family and that they only are nice to my because I have 3 little kids. I feel like a burden to everyone.

FOODS: I am an extremely picky eater and will never eat anybody elses cooking or any leftovers. Just the smell of leftovr food makes me sick.

Since I read through this entire post and nobody else really said many of these things, do I have OCD or is something else causing these continually thoughts to control my life?