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Old 09-27-2006, 12:08 PM   #1
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Question The process of memories and OCD

Hey everyone-

Random, simple question for everyone. I've been noticing that my OCD makes me feel like I'm having memories...that didn't happen. (I realize that OCD feels very real but this is on a different level of reality in a sense.)

I will actually feel as if I'm remembering bad memories, say, if someone accidentally touches my leg. And it feels very real, but nothing ever actually happened to me.

Has anyone else experienced this level of OCD messing around with them and their minds?

Last edited by ihatemyocd; 09-27-2006 at 12:09 PM.

 
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Old 09-27-2006, 02:29 PM   #2
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

I have something similar happen...mine's usually with conversations though...I'll try to explain...I'll see someone I know, and "remember' a conversation I had with them, even though I never had it...but to me, it feels like I did have the conversation, even if it wasn't something that played in my head before. Like: I see Teri across the hall. I don't want to talk to her because I'm still upset about the conversation we had about the procedure for filing for travel reimbursements....except that we *never had* a conversation about travel reimbursments. And this whole thought of "I don't want to talk to her because I'm still upset about our conversation that never took place" is instant....I don't "create" the conversation- it's already there...even though it isn't. Is that the kind of thing your talking about?

 
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Old 09-27-2006, 02:32 PM   #3
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

I have something similar happen...mine's usually with conversations though...I'll try to explain...I'll see someone I know, and "remember' a conversation I had with them, even though I never had it...but to me, it feels like I did have the conversation, even if it wasn't something that played in my head before. Like: I see Teri across the hall. I don't want to talk to her because I'm still upset about the conversation we had about the procedure for filing for travel reimbursements....except that we *never had* a conversation about travel reimbursments. And this whole thought of "I don't want to talk to her because I'm still upset about our conversation that never took place" is instant....I don't "create" the conversation- it's already there...even though it isn't. Is that the kind of thing you're talking about?

 
Old 09-27-2006, 08:11 PM   #4
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

Yes!

Although mine is a bit different, it's the same basic idea. I'm terrified of barns because theyre creepy. So I combine my fear of ocd and barns and I'll actually feel like I'm having flashbacks that could have never physically happened.

Ah the joys of OCD.

 
Old 09-28-2006, 10:08 AM   #5
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

Yes, this happens to me, too. I can't think of any specific incidents, but I definitely have had times where I believe something truly happened that didn't...
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Old 09-28-2006, 04:37 PM   #6
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

Yes, I have this all of the time, it is a big part of my OCD as you can probably see from many of my posts. Mine is a little different but here is an example. Let's say I am talking with a guy, can be a stranger, my husband's friend, etc.., sometimes I have a thought that I "kissed him" even though I know that I didn't... I will then continue to have this picture/feels just like a "memory" of me kissing him.. but It never really happened but b/c it feels like a "memory" I doubt that it did not happen and keep re-playing the "memory" in my head...I also then feel weird - if it is a guy I know and not a stranger- the next time I see him.. I think, "uh oh" oh my god, this is going to be weird.. but nothing ever happened, it is all in my head!!!! It drives me crazy!! It is sooo annoying!! I totally feel for you! You are not alone!

 
Old 09-28-2006, 06:35 PM   #7
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

It's a relief to know I'm not alone...I was started to seriously flip out.

Right now Im having this one where whenever I go near a banr at night with those neon lights by the barn, i am DEAD convinced that someone did something to me and thus why I'm scared of it.

I cant rememeber anything but Ill actually physically touch my skin to see if it feels familiar and then i feel like I'm having flashbacks that I really dont think happened.

Please tell me that sounds like ocd

 
Old 09-29-2006, 10:33 PM   #8
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

'False memories' made up a huge part of my first really bad bout of OCD at the age of 11 (my obsessions were basically religious and moral in nature). Basically, I felt the need to confess to my parents every 'bad' thing that I did as a child (even though I was still a child at 11!). It got to the point where I would confess things I never even did 'just in case' I did do them. I would eventually convince myself that I had done these made-up things and even created memories to prove it. Of course I wanted to unconvince myself of these false memories. So, if possible, I would enage in checking rituals (like, for instance, if I falsey remembered scratching the coffee table I would check where I thought I did it to make sure there were no scratches there. I would keep on doing this until I felt sufficiently reassured).

IHateMyOCD -- Don't worry! Checking your skin to make sure it is yours sounds like OCD to me! My false memories or rituals aren't quite the same as yours but both are OCD none-the-less. I think it's just in OCD's nature to make us believe things that just aren't true because it causes anxiety which is OCD's fuel.

 
Old 09-30-2006, 05:29 AM   #9
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

I just want to say that my heart really goes out to all of you. I can't imagine how awful it must be to have "memories" and yet be unsure if they really happened. I obsess about and analyze the past a lot, but am absolutely sure the things I am obsessing about really happened.

 
Old 09-30-2006, 09:14 PM   #10
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

Wow can I relate. This type of symptom of ocd is the one that causes me the most torture. I have heard stories of ocd sufferers worried about snapping and acting on their obsessions and causeing harm to another, I do not worry about this, my thing is to obsess if maybe I have in my past caused harm to someone and blocked it out. I have spent many hours searching my memory of possible incidents of causing harm to another and then blocking the memory. I will take a real memory of the past such as meeting someone that I do not have contact with again and then I will wonder, did I act violent towards this person and it was it so upsetting to me that I blocked it out, and as I think this the thought of being violent feels familiar so I must have done something. It is that creepy deja vu feeling even though I cannot recall acting out in this way. Does this sound familar to anyone?

 
Old 09-30-2006, 09:29 PM   #11
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychobabble
'False memories' made up a huge part of my first really bad bout of OCD at the age of 11 (my obsessions were basically religious and moral in nature). Basically, I felt the need to confess to my parents every 'bad' thing that I did as a child (even though I was still a child at 11!). It got to the point where I would confess things I never even did 'just in case' I did do them. I would eventually convince myself that I had done these made-up things and even created memories to prove it. Of course I wanted to unconvince myself of these false memories. So, if possible, I would enage in checking rituals (like, for instance, if I falsey remembered scratching the coffee table I would check where I thought I did it to make sure there were no scratches there. I would keep on doing this until I felt sufficiently reassured).

IHateMyOCD -- Don't worry! Checking your skin to make sure it is yours sounds like OCD to me! My false memories or rituals aren't quite the same as yours but both are OCD none-the-less. I think it's just in OCD's nature to make us believe things that just aren't true because it causes anxiety which is OCD's fuel.

 
Old 09-30-2006, 10:08 PM   #12
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Re: The process of memories and OCD

I have apparently put my name on someone elce's post, sorry but like it says, I am a definite newbie!!

I have also been raised in a religious home and moral obsessions are huge for me as well. I was attending a church a few years back and shared with a church leader about my ocd. She said she did not believe in "ocd" and that the symptoms that I was experiencing was a result of unconfessed sin.

You can imagine that for someone that is terrified that they commited some crime this was traumatic to hear but I felt it was my responsibility to seek the "truth".

She instructed me to pray before I went to bed for god to show me my "sin" and that when I woke up it would be in my mind. Well I was extremely thrilled to wake up to no memory and then as I drifted back to sleep I saw an image but I couldn't tell the difference if it was a memory or an image of something that I had been obsessing about for years. My therapist at the time was extremely upset with the church leader for being as she saw it, irresponsible and setting me up to have the obsession.

To this day I still obsess for days whether this was a memory or a an image, it does not feel like a clear memory that is for sure, but I find it hard to dismiss it as nothing as my therapist says.

It is so painful!!

 
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