Afraid. - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Reikon · 10-27-2006, 11:13 PM

I have been suffering from obsessive intrusive thoughts like the most of you and i am supposed to start taking Risperdal tonight and i am afraid honestly.

I have heard of a lot of the side effects and it frightens me.

Don't get me wrong i have heard of it doing great things but i am just so afraid that it will make me violent or change me into what i fear. can somebody give me some sort of help on the subject i am rather scared.

steveo23 · 10-28-2006, 01:14 AM

Hey Reikon

I dont know a lot about Risperdal, but I was under the impression it was used more for psychotic disorders and schizophrenia. If you are anxious about taking it, why not consult with your doc and ask about other meds? Like SSRIs?

Steve

Reikon · 10-29-2006, 07:12 PM

I don't know he says it is also used for other medical purposes which is what the site says for it. I am just having so much trouble with this. I get so angery and snap at my loved ones and fear that among many other things that i take pleasure in hurting people and could turn out to be like one of those murderers and enjoy it.

The worst part about these things is that i can't just think and see if i do because i am so doubtful about it i tell myself no but i keep having this nagging thought when i think to myself i don't that i hear myself saying yea i do and i would enjoy it. I'm not sure if this is just me setting myself up and scaring myself or what. I also am afraid that the only reason i havn't done anything wrong is because it is against the law. I DON"T WANT TO WANT TO DO IT AT ALL.

I used to tell myself the fact that it scares you and you are so angery about it and cry thinking about these things was proof that i don't but as time goes on its like life is chipping away at what i am.

Honestly a day does not go by that i don't wish i could kill myself and be done with it.

Better dead than a danger to people. i just can't hurt anyone it would tear me apart. Please just some kind of help i honestly cannot do this alone i can stay sane but i can't go back to normal i need to be on prescription.

I am currently on welbutrin but it does not seem to help. Please help give me some suggestions i can't live like this i just won't do it.

steveo23 · 10-30-2006, 05:03 AM

Reikon

OCD revolves around deep rooted worst fears, and violence/the capacity to hurt is a common OCD theme. A bigger fear that you DO enjoy the idea of it is also very common. In fact, you and a million other OCD sufferers feel with great despair the same way. Anyone who is driven to suicidal thoughts over this clearly wont ever act on these violence obsessions. Nobody with OCD ever does. If you say you dont want to do it, you dont. Anything else you think or feel is an OCD lie. Telling yourself you'd never do it because you get so angry or cry thinking about it is the rational part of your brain.. the part not affected by OCD. Listen to that part. You obviously have strong morals and are very sensitive to this. Trust me, you'll never be a danger to people, and apart from OCD, life appears to have chipped away at you fine. You can tell a lot about someone's deeper personality by their obsessions and their terrifed reaction to them.

Unfortunately, these problems do cause fustration and depression. If I had a pound every time I snapped at my family/friends I'd be a rich man.

I dont know if your doc understands whats going on, and Im a bit confused by Risperdal. I was put on Olanzapine intially myself (another anti-psychotic) and it really didnt help much, just made me feel crummy. You are not psychotic, and I dont see why common OCD meds wouldnt be able to help you. Ones like Zoloft are very effective for a lot of people. There are a lot, and I'd think it'd be worthwhile looking into them. Talk to your doc/research some online (you're looking for SSRI medication). Yes, I was on welbutrin too. Its great for quitting smoking but it never helped me either.

Until you find an effective medication, stay calm mate. I could give you so many links to info on violence obsessions (but thanks to site policy, you cant). Again, search the net, there is mountains of stuff about it. And by the way, when was the last time you heard of someone with OCD in jail for some horrible crime? Never! It just doesnt happen.

Steve