I hate my ocd so much, it seems I am constantly fighting it and it makes me so tired. I am so tired of questioning every move I make or thought I think. I am tired of being paranoid and obsessing about other people perceptions about me, tired of the checking, tired of the ruminating over situations for hours and I am even tired of having to take medicine that makes me feel like I am walking around half asleep. I just so badly want to be normal and not have this horrible disease, the worst part is questioning whether I even have the disease and maybe I am just a psycho.
I try to have an attitude of acceptance and I do realize that there are people that have it far worse than I do but tonight I just am hating, hating, hating ocd and feeling angry.
I just felt that I had to write it out because I feel I am going to go crazy with all the swirling thoughts.