Loving someone with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

lovenjudy · 11-01-2006, 12:28 PM

This is my first time posting, so please bear with me. I discovered this site after searching on the web about OCD. Well I have been dating someone who has OCD for 1 year and a half. We have had our trials, but I have been patient. I've tried to read about OCD as much as I can so that I can understand. I also did the "why can't you stop" at the begining but I have learned not to. Okay so my delima is this, he often questions his self about the relationship. Sometimes he wants to move forward and then he retracts and doesn't, ie moving in together, getting married. I know it is his OCD that is causing this but it is driving me crazy emotionally. He is not consistent with his therapy nor his medication. He makes excuses about not having time nor money. But I point out to him all the money that he has wasted on CDs, tickets to games and other things he can direct that to getting help. I get frustrated because I don't feel like he's trying hard enough to fix it. His first marriage ended because of OCD and then after he regreted when it was to late. I'm trying to hang in there with him but I cannot compete with OCD, what do you guys suggest I do or how do I approach it?

steveo23 · 11-02-2006, 12:59 AM

Hey

Unfortunately, you can't ever make someone go for help who is not commited. Its obvious he needs to be consistent with his treatment, and I can see how it must be fustrating. OCD can be sad in more than one as it effects not only the sufferer but the people around them. But he is obviously very lucky to have someone so understanding and supportive... many sufferers do not.

I dont know if it helps, but people with OCD usually become obsessed with the things that mean the most to them in life... which is why "relationship OCD" is very common. A lot of OCD folks seem to hate change (maybe it's a insecurity thing, whatever) and it holds them back in life.

Maybe trying to get him more "involved" with his OCD might help... showing him websites like this may get him thinking. A big mistake that some sufferer's make is not treating their OCD seriously. There's a lot of sad stories around. As I've found out from personal experience, it's something that you ignore at your own peril.

Sorry I cant be of more help

Steve