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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 11-20-2006, 06:04 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 20
FeelingFine? HB User
New to the Forum-Not to OCD

It started when I was in 7th grade. I had told my friend a lie about something that I said happened to me. I thought nothing of it for a whole year, until one day, I just HAD to tell her the truth. So I did, and she didn't mind. I felt a sigh of relief and I felt so innocent. But then later I was in the car with my brother, trying to think of the perfect time to tell him I used his pencil sharpener without asking. I had started talking to people like this.

"Yea, that test took like 500 hours. I mean, no probably like 30 min. Or something. I don't know. Sorry, I don't really know."

I would say "Sorry" to everything I would do wrong. "Sorry, I tripped. Sorry, I took your folder without asking."

I would also say "Excuse me". "Excuse me, I touched my hair. Excuse me, I laughed."

My friends kept telling me to STOP, but I knew I couldn't.

My parents and brother were no help either. They just didn't understand what I was going through. I didn't know what I was going through either.

OCD happened the most for me after one of my best friends hated me. Just hated me for telling my best friend something I wasn't suppose to.

I was overly deppressed. All I could think about was him. I'd always think he'd come back and say sorry. But he never did.

I soon started washing my hands a ton. If I touched my leg where I had a cut on it, I'd think "Blood! Gotta wash my hands!!" If I touched my hair or any where pretty much on my body, I'd have to wash my hands. After I'd wash them. I'd try to sit and not let them touch anything. But if one hit my knee, I'd have to go wash them again.

I couldn't stop doing any of this. It would take me tons of time to do my tests at school. I'd have to erase and make each one perfect, exactly. I'd have to write my notes perfectly.

When I'd go to bed, I'd have to clear the way in case my parents came in. What if they got hurt, tripped on a penny that was on my floor, leading to my bed? I'd have to keep checking if the door (to my bedroom) was unlocked- in case of a fire. I would have to walk through my door a certain way, walk into any room a certain exact way.

It was complete hell.

I don't really know how I overcame it, I slowly stopped saying excuse me and sorry. But it was because my friends would say "Just don't say it today." Or I'd make them say it, so I heard it and knew. But I would at times say it outloud, when no one was around. OCD was taking over my life.

I still partially have OCD. I wash my hands more than regular people, it takes me a while to get to bed. Mostly, I'm better. Without and therapist help.

Though this whole time, I didn't have anyone to talk to.

I just want to see if I really DID have OCD, and if I do still now.

Thanks a ton,
tessa.

 
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Old 11-21-2006, 12:45 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Brighton
Posts: 225
steveo23 HB User
Re: New to the Forum-Not to OCD

Hey Tessa

Yeah, what you describe is very suggestive of OCD (in fact I'm sure it is, but I'm no doctor), and it sounds like it impacted on your life quite severely, as it does with most cases. Why did you never see a doctor? Or is that a stupid question?

It's sad that your behaviour was not recognized for what it was back then, but then a lot of people go undiagnosed for years. Even the people around you that have heard of OCD may still never get what is going on. It was the same with me before I was finally diagnosed years later.

It's good to hear things have got a lot better for you.. sometimes people seem to "grow out" of their OCD a little, sometimes people dont.

I'm glad you came across this board and got it off your chest. You can talk to people here anytime.

Steve

 
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