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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board


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Old 11-25-2006, 12:22 PM   #1
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Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

Ok well hopefully i can get some help here.

It all started about 5 months ago with my first anxiety attack ever. Then i started obsessing over my health and practically have done everything to rule out major problems. So i started seeing a therapist about 2 weeks ago and hes come to the conclusion that i have anxiety along with ocd. I've had a few panic attacks (2 which were ER visits)

Now heres the problem...

Well the past couple months i've had 2 sinus infections, 2 left middle/inner ear infections and have been on 3 different antibiotics. I've delt with so much severe vertigo along with major equilibrium problems and now things are starting to calm down, yet seem to be starting up again. I get massive headaches with moments of blurred double vision and quite a bit of confusion. So basically i've stayed home for the longest time miserable and pretty much not able to do anything at all and now im weary about being around my friends...

Now the psychological problems....

It all started out with thoughts of harming my family and is now progressing into more horrible things. This last week when i was talking to my therapist i mentioned scitzophrenia or however its spelt and he assured me i didnt have it. Now that he threw a couple examples of the behaviors it really started to get me thinking. Within the past couple weeks i've been having really bad episodes right when it gets dark (i've always been a nighttime person and thats when my anxiety level increases)... they usually last for about 30 mins to a couple hours. Well tonight i got to the point where i started obsessing over the thoughts of harming my family and then it started growing into "I wonder if these are the thoughts a scitzo would think." Then i start getting real ancy and start pacing throughout my house (dont wanna talk to anyone, so i try to confine myself from any type of conversation) with massive HORRIBLE thoughts running through my head to the point where i get thoughts of harming myself. Once the thoughts really start kicking into gear i go into a phase of depersonalization where i feel like im outside of my body(ghostlike) and im dreaming or something. Along with the depersonalization i get a feeling of no emotion... i just want to break down and start crying so bad just to feel something. My mom has been completely supportive in a few past episodes to the point where i just spit everything out at her and start breaking down. Well now im tired of bringing her into this when it gets bad because when im in this state i really want to be alone with nobody talking to me. So the past few nights have been really bad to the point where i've wanted to check myself into a mental hospital. I've been taking xanax for the past couple weeks and it helps take the edge of and i can seem to let the thoughts pass a lot easier. Once i hit the hardest part of the episode where i was about to go get one of my parents to take me to the ER or somewhere... i popped .5 xanax and slowly started coming out of it and now im feeling pretty good. It just seems like from the moment i wake up i have little thoughts about previous nights and can make it through the day, then when night hits its almost like i expect myself to have another episode. I've only been taking about .25 mg of xanax twice a day but tonight i took a full pill. I'm wondering if i should start upping the dosage on my own (therapist didnt recommend it, and referred me to a psychiatrist) which the appt is scheduled like 2 weeks away. Any advice would be greaaatly appreciated.

Thanks

 
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Old 11-25-2006, 01:31 PM   #2
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

Having thoughts of harming your family does not make you schizophrenic. Those people aren't actually conscious of having any kinds of feelings like that. Those thoughts are symptoms of OCD, things you would never do but you can't stop *obsessing* about them

 
Old 11-25-2006, 08:43 PM   #3
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

anyone had any similar problems?

 
Old 11-25-2006, 09:02 PM   #4
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

Bucks-

Ok lets tackle a few things first. First and foremost, you're not going to hurt anyone. There are two lines of thinking that people have on this board pertaining to having "intrusive thoughts." First of which is that these thoughts mean nothing and everyone has them, and the best thing to do is just not pay attention to them.

The second line of thinking, and what I personally believe, is that these thoughts are conjured up by your sub-conscious to get you to pay attention to something that is happening in your life that is really bothering you. Having "intrusive thoughts" is part of being OCD, and these thoughts are symbolic and not literal. People don't like change, anxiety, anger, stress, and we have different reactions to these things and our sub-conscious knows this, so since we might not willingly acknowledge them consciously, our sub-conscious still thinks about them.

You said after dealing with these thoughts for an extended period of time you go into a "dream world" or you feel depersonalized. Well that's because your brain can no longer put up with thinking about all these things, and basically your brain just says, "I'm tired of putting up with this," and shuts off. This is called a disassociative phase, and it's a good thing becuase it shows that your brain is being deffensive and reacting to these irrational thoughts. One thing you have to remember is that you don't want to have these thoughts and they BOTHER you. These thoughts would not bother someone who is not of sound mind or has some other serious psychological disorder. We sometimes have these thoughts because, as strange as it may sound, were trying to protect ourselves. Example? If I'm in the hospital, I'm away from things that cause me anxiety. If I think this way I'll scare myself so much that I'll avoid the situation. We AVOID conflict, we AVOID stress, we AVOID change because it makes us uncomfortable. OCD is just another way that our brain gets us to avoid things that make us uncomfortable. If we have these intrusive thoughts, we don't have to think about what's really bothering us because were so distracted thinking were crazy or nuts. It's the ol' "bait and switch."

My advice is to get into see a good cogntive behavioral therapist that specializes in anxiety disorders and OCD becuase they have the most experience dealing with OCD. Also medication is fine, but should always be used in conjunction with good therapy.

Hope this helps!

 
Old 11-26-2006, 09:49 PM   #5
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

eh its really been bothering me lately... feel real uncomfortable around my parents which i still live with. Theres times when i feel like i cant even talk or think... but in the midst of some of these episodes i go through, i get totally uncomfortable and just wanna tell them i wanna be alone... been spending a lot of time in my room lately :/

 
Old 11-27-2006, 09:50 AM   #6
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

I Have To Say Badmalibu Your Advise Is Fantastic Im Learning So Much That I Didnt Know About This Disorder And It Is Very Reassuring To Me And I Hope To Many Others.

 
Old 11-27-2006, 04:36 PM   #7
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

very well put badmalibu i feel much better and learn alot reading from you. you make it sound easier to understand.

 
Old 11-27-2006, 07:29 PM   #8
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

Mandy/Teacher-

Well I very much appreciate the fact that I can help others. Obviously I have OCD and I've learned alot of great things in therapy over the years and I want to share those ideas with others.

Believe me when I say I know what it's like to have these thoughts, I know what it's like to suffer with OCD and it's not fun and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I just hope the good therapy I've been lucky enough to recieve benefits others in a positive way.

 
Old 12-05-2006, 07:53 PM   #9
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Re: Mental OCD HELP! :warning:

Wow. I can relate to this post SO much!

I too, have wondered if I am/will develop schizophrenia..

Its reassuring to know I am not alone!


Thanks!
Angie

 
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