My Ocd Hell - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

MOLLIE_TEDDIE_X · 01-29-2007, 03:26 PM

Hi, My name is Katy. I am an ocd sufferer and have been since i was a child. Only over the recent 6 years has it got really bad, My grandmother died of cancer last year and that really was the last straw, my ocd seemed to then take over. I am currently off work and having medical help with the ocd. My ocd seems to be there in everything I do:-

Heres a list of where the ocd bothers me:-

1. listening to music, any music that seems to be about death or that stresses me I have to play it back over and over again (untill its safe)

2. I have the urge to wee all the time especially before I eat anything, I then have to have a good wee (not to think about anything negative)

3. Watching movies, if sex comes on screen I have to look away and not think of anything, if I do I have wind it back again and look away.

4. Obsessive about eating bad foods (chocolate, cake, crisps) try to avoid them or if i want them have to have a "good wee"

5. Scared all the time loved ones will die.

6. obsessively use the loo (wees) before I go to bed.

7. If using **** and bid on something have to bid over and over again.

8. scared some underwear is uncomfy and have problems wearing it.

9. Problems sleeping.

I have quite a few ocd problems. I am not working at the moment and feel quite lonely, I havent contacted my friends for a while as I am compulsive they have fallen out with me (even though i know they havent) I am scared to hang with my friends as my ocd is quite bad at the moment, and I am not really going out much. I am scared they wouldent understand. So I am quite lonely and could do with some like minded people to chat too. I am looking to make friends with ocd. If anyone would like to reply please do so. Katy xx

steveo23 · 01-29-2007, 05:29 PM

Katy

I am very sorry for your loss and that your OCD has taken a turn for the worst. Unfortunately it can do this, as it is subject to many things, including stress and bereavement. I hope you find this board helpful and comforting being in the company of others who understand. I have.

The good thing is that you are recieving treatment. This disorder tends to respond quite quickly to intervention, so hopefully you'll feel better soon. It's very easy to feel isolated and alone with this problem, something I'm sure everyone here can identify with. I was off work for about 18 months once with my OCD and I can more than understand the effect that can have on you mentally. The disease really does seem to creep into every aspect of your life, but thankfully, you are doing something about this.

It can seem like the biggest hurdle in the world, but it's important to get out and spend time with friends, if only occasionally. It can make all the difference. Feeling lonely is a terrible thing, and shutting yourself away manifests problems greatly. I had the same type of problem as you with my mates (fearing they had fallen out with me), and was worried about what they might think. But I was surprised at the reaction of my friends when I told them about my OCD. I feared they would just not get it, but it turned out to be quite the opposite. They were curious, if anything. OCD always seem to conjure the worst imaginable outcome when you think of situations like this.

Anyways, I hope you'll feel better soon. It's hard but more than beatable!

Steve

MOLLIE_TEDDIE_X · 01-29-2007, 05:34 PM

Dear Steveo, Thankyou for your kind words. x

dannic1 · 02-07-2007, 07:01 PM

I know first-hand that OCD can mess with your social life! I used to be such a social butterfly and now my OCD has made it difficult to want to be around people. It's almost as though I've developed some sort of social anxiety along with it. I try hard to be around people - I really do like people - that's the difficult part. I think I'm just fearful of someone judging me for my OCD. I swallow a lot when I'm nervous - I had this in high school and it went away and then came back under stress. I don't know if it's true OCD or anxiety? I do exhibit some OCD tendencies i.e. checking stove knobs, checking locks, a little bit of counting, etc. I'm sure people don't notice (I hide it well), but I know and it's a very annoying problem. I'm trying hard to reduce stress and to eat right and I'm currently in therapy and having biofeedback done. I'm hoping it will go away again on its own. I'm trying to avoid medication, if possible.

steveo23 - if you're out there, how did your father get over his problem with the swallowing?

danni