Thoughts-may trigger---please help - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

cray324 · 01-31-2007, 09:03 PM

I posted here a few months ago asking for some reassurance about the thoughts that id been having..and i got some really great advice.
The thoughts before had to do with harm and my 1 1/2 yr old daughter. Now its not only that its something else which really freaks me out and ive never really heard anyone else talk about it and im scared somethings really wrong with me.
I was in the grociery store the other day and a man came up to me and told me that my daughter didnt look anything like me. Which i had heard that before.Now i cant stop thinking well "what if shes really not mine" What if she was switched at the hospital" all of these crazy thoughts and im scared to death that im going to believe the thoughts if that makes any kind of sense at all.
The other problem that i have been having is...

Im currently taking buspar and effexor CR..and i believe that they help with the anxiety but now when i have the thoughts of harm or these ridiculous thoughts of her not being my biological daughter i dont get the anxiety like i used to and the wierd thing is i start thinking well..."what if this means that you like the thoughts" Or "what if subconsciously or somewhere deep down inside you really dont lover her" which i know i do and i would give anything in the world not to be like this.. i know the medicine took the anxiety away..(dont get me wrong its still there but not AS bad)and i really disliked feeling the way that i did but sometimes i want it back so that not only do i "know"that i dont agree with the thoughts..but so that i feel it physically as well...its just feels like nothing is EVER good enough.
it is so wierd how deep down you know something but there is always that doubt there.i feel like im always searching for this answer that is never there and no matter how hard i try to find it..nothing is ever good enough.EXAMPLE OCD i know thats my problem but i continually think its always some other mental disorder....
im frustrated and now im starting to ramble....
Good advice needed please help

ocdengineer · 01-31-2007, 09:39 PM

Cray,

I really think you need to consider CBT or Meditation! These two things which, in all honesty, are exactly the same thing in different wrappers, are the only things that will help you with the thoughts. I take Xanax and it almost completely eliminates the anxiety, but no matter what the thoughts always were there. The only think that worked for me was meditation. I meditate every morning. Practicing the Buddhist Mindfulness Meditation is not against any other religious denomination you may have. Consider it your yoga! It will help you to learn to relax and accept the thoughts as negative thoughts and nothing more. You learn to let them come and let them go just as quickly. It does take a little practice, but you should notice some immeditate changes in the first week. Please do some reasearch on meditation and always feel free to ask questions. I have exactly the same dissorder as you. Pure O. It is horrible, but there is hope, so don't give up and open up your mind to meditation. It really will help.

I wish you luck!
OE

cray324 · 02-01-2007, 06:25 AM

thank you for the reply i currently do yoga which i noticed helps i will do some research on the meditation, im willing to do anything that will help thanks for the advice!

divalou · 02-02-2007, 03:09 AM

google Pure O. i had similar thoughts. Pure O is part of OCd check it out.

irishmom1 · 02-02-2007, 03:04 PM

Hi Cray,

I have thoughts towards my child and I responded to your other post a few months ago. I just wanted to give you my support on these days you are having a hard time. How do you react to the thoughts, do you talk to yourself and try to calm yourself down? The bad thing about the thoughts is that they will never go away 100%. You have to learn how to react and move forward when it happens.

Do you go to therapy? You can learn techniques from your therapist.

Hoping you are feeling better.
Take care