pure o or ocd about love? or anxiety? or something else? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

divalou · 02-03-2007, 05:31 AM

i posted this on the anxiety forum but someone mentioned pure o, was wondering if anyone has experienced similar?

<i>"i got an anxiety attack when my boyfriend told me he loved me. this was after we fell so hard in love with each other and i had to hold myself back from telling him i loved him, i wanted to shout it out so loud that i could explode! and i was SO happy with him, like something i never knew existed. Then out of the blue this attack happened. and now i get all these thoughts like "you dont love him enough" or "you dont love him" or "your just kidding yourself" and then i get anxious when he tells me sweet things and when he says i love you and when i tell him i love him.
I know i love him because he makes me so so so happy and those feelings that i felt before were real and dont just go. our relationship is so good and there are no arguments and he is perfect so why did i get these attacks? I even get anxious when i look at him now like ive turned him into a trigger! its scaring me but im determined not to lose him cus of these anxiety attacks.

a bit of back ground about me : used to suffer with panic attacksreally badly for years from the age of about 13 and am a highly stressed person.

i got into a relationship when i was 16 and though i was so much in love but it was more like an obsession and this person made me feel i didnt love them as much as they loved me and i never would and really treated me mean. she almost destroyed me and i was severely depressed when it ended. she really screwed my head up.

does anyone else have this because i am so terrified that someone is going to turn round and say "maybe you just dont love him" even though i really do! i cant let this destroy us because i value what we've got so much and i dont want to let him go, i want to be in his future and i want him to be in mine.

can anyone relate?

p.s i dontg et anxiety over anything else eg health anymore so this makes i worse!"</i>

when i get these thoughts they put me ina fog and i cant focus on anything else. they seem to have got better recently but i still get them and analyse everything to the extreme.

farman · 02-06-2007, 03:37 PM

Quote:

"i got an anxiety attack when my boyfriend told me he loved me. Then out of the blue this attack happened. and now i get all these thoughts like "you dont love him enough" or "you dont love him" or "your just kidding yourself" and then i get anxious when he tells me sweet things and when he says i love you and when i tell him i love him.

does anyone else have this because i am so terrified that someone is going to turn round and say "maybe you just dont love him" even though i really do! i cant let this destroy us because i value what we've got so much and i dont want to let him go, i want to be in his future and i want him to be in mine.

can anyone relate?

I sure can relate. I would imagine that most of us 'act up' especially when stressed. Any situation that one is placed in that is stressful will help to aggrevate our shared disorder.

I too have interpersonal problems that make it worse for me. Because, like you, I would like to have love in my life, that wanting creates stress. We don't want to 'act up' in those situations but that is often the exact times that we do.

If you didn't care so much, this probably wouldn't even be an issue. So you can probably stop second guessing yourself as to whether you love him/her or not. I couldn't really tell which was the case from your post. Not that it matters to me! I feel that you do love from your comments and your thoughts are trying to sabatoge this for you.

Alot could be learned from cognitive therapy about your mind and its destructive thoughts on this one. Are you in any type of therapy or taking medications? Do you feel safe about approaching your lover with any of this or are you afraid that he/she would doubt your intentions or leave you because of your thought patterns?

Love is a scary thing for healthy people........let alone people like us!!!

farfalla77 · 02-07-2007, 04:38 AM

hi
what u u r suffering from happened to me and to my sister as well.
but i got over this feeling by telling myself (yes i dont love him much and ui am just acting to just enjoy the feeling of being inlove )for me it worked so much, at first it was soo hard but with time i found that this feeling began to disappear gradually and i began to have obsession over other things ..lol

DogsRGreat · 02-07-2007, 04:26 PM

I written on this board multiple times that I wonder if I really love my husband. He couldn't be any greater and if I had to wish a husband for my friends, it would be him. I think this is one of the harder thoughts to know if it is true or not. Sometimes, if you read on this board, people get the worry that they could do harm to someone. For most people, it is easy to tell that they never would, but they still can't get the thought out of their mind. It is easier to tell this is OCD. For the love thoughts though, they are a bit trickier. I am still working hard on this one. I will have some great days or even just great moments when the thoughts seem ridiculous and I try to remind myself of this when I have the thoughts (which is why I logged on here today). The key which I am still trying to master is telling yourself this is your OCD, not your reality. If you have doubts that it might not be true, then it probably isn't and you need to remind yourself of that! Good luck!

ocdengineer · 02-07-2007, 09:38 PM

I wonder sometimes about my wife as well and have always worried when any relationship got serious. It just takes time and practice and eventually you will find something else to obsess about. I do find that that particular obsession hurts the most though, because it hits close to home. That one can still get to me sometimes, but for the most part I have this thing licked. Xanax and meditation has worked for me. The meditation will really help with relaxation as well as thought control to practice dealing with the intrusive thoughts on your own terms.

Good luck,
OE